Every silver lining has a cloud
by Shadowhunt3r
Summary: Alex's life sucks, and by the looks of it, will always suck, but when she gets to the dumping ground, everything changes. The question is- has it changed for better or for worse? Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

You know the saying every cloud has a silver lining? Well, it turns out that that's only half of it. You see, every cloud may have a silver lining, but every silver lining also has a cloud, so there's no winning. Not in my life, anyway.

Past

I woke up at around six o'clock in the morning, due to something gently patting my face, and I opened my eyes groggily (six o'clock is definitely not a time I should be conscious at- not even on a school day!), and sat up, scrambling back so fast I almost hit my head on the wall behind me, before my sleep addled brain registered that there was, in fact, no danger, only my cat sat on my stomach, having been prodding my face for a reason which, unsurprisingly, evaded my knowledge. I sighed, rubbing my eyes, and then stroking my cat. Yes, she was annoying, but Minnie the old tabby had been my mum's cat before, and I loved her as well as feeling duty bound to look after her.

Present

I stepped through the door, pulling my black suitcase behind me with one hand, carrying Minnie as carefully as I could with the other, and woas met by the stares of several other kids - care kids, I guessed - and they ranged from slightly older than me to much younger.

"Guys, this is Alex. Be nice." Mike, the social worker who had picked me up said to the small congregation that had gathered, and then he turned to me.

"Welcome to the mad house!" He said, sounding only half sarcastic.

"Is that a cat?" Asked a small girl loudly, staring at Minnie. "How come she's allowed a pet?!"

"Floss..." Said a woman warningly who I hadn't noticed before, standing further down the corridor, but I smiled an replied anyway.

"I don't know if I can keep her yet, and anyway, she isn't actually a cat-" I lowered my voice conspiratorially, "she's a tiger in disguise!" I finished, noticing most of the other kids' amused grins, and I winked at her as she smiled widely up at me. I was about to talk to the woman who'd been watching from the hall, smiling at my interaction with Floss, and ask her what I needed to do with my belongings when I saw a small blonde figure rushing down the stairs.

"Alex!" He yelled, running towards me, and I grinned wider than I had grinned all year.

"Harry!" I dropped the handle of my suitcase as he hugged me tightly, and Minnie me owed in protest as she was squashed between us.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming here?" He asked me, scratching behind Minnie's ears just how she liked.

"Well, I didn't know myself until about five minutes ago! You see-" but I broke off when I saw all of the interested faces surrounding us.

"We can talk about that later. How's Jeff?" I asked, referencing his cuddly toy ( a giraffe) an the people around us still looked vaguely interested, still watching us, but they also appeared to be speculating among themselves about who I might be. It made my slightly nervous to have so many peoples' attention on me, but what unnerved me the most was the tall, brown haired boy leaning against the doorframe of what I guessed was the living room, practically glaring at me, with his arms folded. I gave him a raise of my eyebrows, and the woman down the corridor finally spoke up.

"Alex, could you come with me a sec?" She asked, and I nodded, hugging Harry briefly again and walking down the corridor after her.

"Wait!" Called Harry after me, and I turned back around, "Can I hold Minnie?" He asked, and I grinned.

"Course." I handed over the cat, and carried on down the corridor and into an office.

"So, I'm May-li, and welcome to Ashdene Ridge!" She said with a warm smile. "You'll be sharing a room if that's okay?" I nodded, and she smiled again. "Excellent. You'll be sharing a room with - oh, here she comes now!" A girl with long brown hair tied back in a pony tail was running down the corridor, laughing as she was chased by a taller boy with wild, curly hair.

"Jodie! Tyler!" Called out May-li, stopping them in their tracks. "Could you show Alex around, please?" And then she turned to me, saying "You'll be sharing a room with Jodie for now."

"Good luck with that!" Said the boy, Tyler, "You can hear her snoring from a mile off!" Jodie elbowed him in the ribs, and said "Come on, I'll show you our room." So she led me up the stairs, around a corner and into her - our - room.

"Just ignore Tyler." She said.

"Are you two, you know, a couple or something...?" Jodie pulled a face, making me laugh.

"God no! We're best friends though. Do you want some help unpacking?"

"There isn't really much to unpack- I might do it later. Do you know where Harry might be?" She looked suddenly twice as interested.

"Are you his long lost sister or something?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"Not exactly, no." Seeing that this was all she'd be able to get out of me, she shrugged, and gestured for me to leave the room.

"His room's right down the corridor. I'll show you." She led me further down the corridor, and pointed to a door.

"That's his. See you later!" She grinned at me, and I smiled back, before knocking on the door.

It was answered by the boy who'd been glowering at me before, and he didn't look best pleased to see me.

"What do you want?" He demanded, and I rolled my eyes.

"Nice to meet you too." I replied sarcastically.

"Just let her in, would you?" I heard Harry say from inside the room, and I pushed my way past Ryan, who didn't seem very keen on letting me in.

"Can we talk now?" Harry asked, and I came over and sat next to him on his bed.

"Yeah, sure - when he leaves." I said, gesturing to Ryan, who was still stood in the doorway, but who was now approaching me.

"Harry and I are mates, so whatever you say to him, you can say to me." He said, and to my consternation, Harry said

"Let him stay. Minnie likes him too!" Ryan smirked and sat on the bed, and Minnie, who Harry had been holding, leapt on to his lap. So much for loyalty.

"Why are you here?" Asked Harry "I thought things were going okay with you and Helen?" He said it as a question, so I launched into a full explanation of what had happened to me, and to her.

"So, let me get this straight, you two are ... Half brother and sister?" Ryan interrupted me, and Harry nodded before I had time to say something slightly less PG.

"Different mums, same dad." He said.

"Let me guess- you want to hear the whole story." I said, and Ryan looked at me innocently.

"If you wouldn't mind."

"Well, my parents met when they were younger, and I guess they were so in love that they didn't believe that they could ever not be, which of course wasn't true. You see, when my mum, Helen, got pregnant with me, they weren't married and they were both still in their early twenties, and my mum's family didn't think that she would cope. They wanted her to get an abortion and wait a few years until they had settled down with good jobs and a nice house before they even thought about having children, but of course she wouldn't listen. They rented a small apartment together and had me. Everything was great for a couple of years, but they weren't making enough money, and they had to work for longer and longer, seeing less of each other in an attempt to make enough money to survive by, and in the end, my father gave up. He ran, and he met Harry's mum. I lived with them for a while, but I had to go and live with my mum because - well, I'm sure you know the rest of the story." I felt as though I should be crying or something, but I only felt cold. Cold and alone and abandoned, despite Harry sitting right next to me.

To my surprise, Ryan put his arm around me, and smiled reassuringly.

"We've all been through a lot. You'll be okay; you have Harry and Minnie, and at least you're together again." His words sounded reassuring, but there was something in his smile that made me want to pull away, despite how comforting the arm around my shoulder was.

"What about you, then?" I asked, and when his expression shut down immediately, I knew I was right - his sympathy, however genuine I wanted it to be, was just a show.

"Well, I ... I don't-" he faltered, and I stood up abruptly.

"I knew it." I said, and he glared at me again, opening his mouth to say something, but he never quite got around to it, because May-Ali yelled "DINNER!" And Minnie leapt from his lap and onto Harry's pillow as he stood up, and as he walked past me, he muttered so that Harry wouldn't hear me, "You don't know anything."


	2. Chapter 2

Past

I yawned loudly, and gently shifted Minnie off of me so that I could get out of bed; although it was only six in the morning, once I was woken up, I found it near to impossible to get back to sleep, so I dressed in my black skinny jeans, Panic! At the Disco t shirt and attempted to tame my curly black hair. Eventually I gave up and took the book I was currently reading (Gone by Michael Grant) and sat back on my bed, propping up my pillows and hoping to finish it this morning, as it was a Saturday, and I had nothing to do, except maybe a bit of homework, but I wanted to put that off for as long as possible. About five minutes later, Minnie began meowing loudly, and I sighed.

"Come on, then, let's get you some food." I said, and she followed me through the door of my bedroom and down the stairs.

Present

I sat between Harry and a blonde girl, whose name I was yet to find out, and everyone began serving themselves spaghetti and bolognese, and the girl next to me offered me the salad.

"Salad? I'm Tee by the way." She said, smiling widely at me.

"Oh, yeah, thanks." I replied, taking the bowl as she continued.

"And this is Carmen." She gestured to a girl across the table, and I smiled at her too.

"I love your hair by the way - is it natural, or do you curl it?" Carmen asked.

"Oh, it's natural, and I love yours too! I've always wanted straight hair." I replied, and she practically glowed. I had never really minded having curly hair, but I thought that it would be easier to look after straight hair, and it seemed that making friends was probably the way forward here, as I would be living with these people for the foreseeable future.

"I can see you and I going to be great friends." She grinned, but the grin slid from her face as Ryan made a sceptical noise from down the end of the table.

"Problem?" Demanded Carmen, and Tyler elbowed Jody in the ribs, alerting her to the inevitable scene the two were about to make.

"You don't really think that this'll last more than five minutes, do you?" Smirked Ryan "Because from what I've heard, you wouldn't want to be friends with a filthy thief, would you?" He mocked, grinning maliciously over at me, and I glared straight back at him, willing him to shut up.

"I'm friends with Kaz, aren't I?" Replied Carmen, as Kaz, the older looking girl next to her looked indignant and hurt.

"I did what I needed to to survive - you know that!" She said, and Ryan sniggered quietly at the argument.

"Yeah, but-" Said Carmen, but Tee interrupted.

"You can't just say that about people!" She said, aiming her words at both Carmen and Ryan, who simultaneously replied, neither apologising, and Kaz stood up.

"I'm not hungry any more." She said, and walked off, leaving the rest if us in silence.

"Go after her!" Tee urged Carmen, who replied, "it's not my fault! If you want to blame someone, blame Ryan! Why aren't you having a go at him for upsetting the new girl?"

"The new girl? I have a name!" Harry squeezed my hand under the table, signalling for me to calm down.

"I don't really care at the moment!" And she stormed off.

"Wow, that was even less than five minutes!" Said Ryan.

"Yeah, like you could get someone to stick with you for more than thirty seconds!" I exclaimed.

"Ouch!" Grinned Tyler, and it was Jody's turn to elbow him.

"Tactless!" I heard her mutter, and then a brunette boy with rectangular glasses, apparently completely missing Jody's reprimand of Tyler, asked "Were you really a thief?" And I stood up, the third to leave the table in one meal.

"Turns out I'm not hungry either." I said, and I made my way to Jody and I's room.

A few seconds later, I heard a knock at the door, and, presuming it would be Harry, I immediately said, "Come in." But instead of Harry, Tee walked in, holding my plate of spaghetti and a knife and fork.

"I thought you might want some anyway." She smiled, holding out the plate to me, and I took it, smiling half heartedly back, and took a bite.

"What are you doing here?" I asked "I don't mean to be rude, but shouldn't you be with Carmen?"

"Well, she and I aren't exactly talking at the moment." She didn't look particularly upset, though, so I presumed that it was a regular occurrence.

"Where's Harry? I thought he'd come up." Tee can to sit on Jody's bed opposite me, and looked slight guilty.

"What happened?" I asked, knowing that something was up.

"He, um, he's with Ryan." She said? And looked down.

"Why?" I demanded,

"Well, apparently he's been through a lot, too, and Harry wanted to stay with him."

"He's my brother!"

"I- he's your brother? Sorry, not relevant. I'm sorry, but I'm sure it'll be fine. All of us have had our issues with Ryan, and if Harry's your brother, then I'm sure it'll work out - I fight with my brother, Johnny, all the time." I was marginally reassured, but Ryan had been there for Harry when I hadn't,

and I was in danger of losing him again, and this time, I felt even more helpless, as it was happening right under my nose.

"I, uh, I guess you want to know if it's true, then. What Ryan said about me." I took another bite of the almost forgotten spaghetti in my lap, waiting for her reply.

"Well, I... You don't have to tell me." She said awkwardly, but I saw through her immediately.

"Ok, fine, I want to know." She admitted, and I smiled slightly at her reply.

"The answer's yes. I did steal, and I'm not proud of it, I never was, but my mum needed me. She couldn't keep a job, and I was too young to get one, so there was no other option." There was an awkward silence, and I took another bite of the rapidly cooling spaghetti to fill the gap.

"You should need her, not the other way around. Your secret's safe with me." She moved from Jody's bed and onto mine, putting her arm around me, reminding me painfully of Ryan earlier, and I was tempted to shrug it away from my shoulders, but I stayed put, knowing that she meant well.

"You know what, you can tell them whatever you want. I won't let him get to me, and they'll find out eventually anyway." I said, angry, and determined not to let him win.

"Are you sure?" She seemed uncertain, but I nodded."In fact, I might tell them myself."

A/N - So I've been told that it wasn't very clear the first time I published this chapter that it wasn't very clear that there was a time skip at the beginning. Sorry about that! Hopefully I've cleared that up, but just in case it happens again in the future, I'm going to let you know now that at the beginning of each chapter, you'll see a bit of what happened on the day Alex went into care, and then the story will continue.


	3. Chapter 3

Past

By seven in the morning, I had fed Minnie; made myself some toast (and eaten it); finished my maths homework and started watching The Mist on Netflix. By eight in the morning, I had disposed of a dead rat Minnie had presented me with, and I had also finished reading Gone. By half past, I was starting to get worried; my mum still hadn't made an appearance, and I was beginning to wonder if it was going to be one of her Bad Days - the ones where she was extremely angry, or extremely depressed, or even both. Of course, she had medication, but whether she would take it or not was an entirely different story. Once upon a time, there had been barely any Bad Days, and back then, they were only bad days, and Dad was there to help, so everything was fine, but now, now was a different story.

Present

"You don't have to do this, you know." Said Jody, after I had told her what I was about to do, but I shook my head.

"Yes, I do. Everyone thinks that in a thief anyway, thanks to Ryan, so it might look better coming from me." I replied, and climbed up onto the coffee table to make my announcement.

"So," I began loudly, catching almost everyone's attention,

"I'm a thief." I said, and if people weren't listening before, they definitely were now.

"I did what I needed to to survive, nothing more, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one here who's done bad things in their past, so I say, let's move on!" With that, I stepped down from the coffee table, leaving everyone slightly shocked looking, including Harry and Ryan, and I was sure that even if there were people in their rooms, or getting drinks or whatever, they would hear about it later.

I began to walk away as everyone began chatting again as if nothing ever happened, but stopped when someone tapped me on the back, and I turned around to see Harry standing there, looking guilty.

"I'm sorry." He said "I should've come to you, but I -" I cut him off.

"It's okay - I know you and Ryan are good friends, but I'm still your sister. Nothing that small could ever tear us apart." He hugged me tightly, and smiled. Maybe I wasn't going to lose him after all.

Later that evening, Jody was helping me unpack, and we were chatting about our favourite bands, and as it turned out, we had quite a similar taste in music, when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" Said Jody, and it opened, revealing Ryan, holding Minnie in his arms, who, to my consternation, was purring loudly as he stroked her.

"What are you doing with my cat?!" I was particularly annoyed because she was never normally this friendly with strangers.

"You should ask her, really. She was the one sat on my bed. Anyway, I'd like to have a word." He glanced pointedly at Jody, evidently wanting her to leave, but she stayed put as I said - "You can have two - get lost!"

"I just came to apologise, and in case you've forgotten, I still have your cat." He looked amused as I rolled my eyes, and Jody took that as her queue to leave, shutting the door behind her.

"The cat, if you please." I demanded, sitting on my bed, and starting to fold another one of my t shirts, and to my slight surprise, he sat next to me, and began folding another one, letting Minnie sit on my pillow.

"Why'd you do it, then?" I asked, moving to put the t shirt in my chest of drawers (Jody had the wardrobe).

"I-" I turned back around to look at him, and he seemed to be having some sort of internal struggle, and I raised my eyebrows at him.

"You what?"

"I was - I was jealous. Of you and Harry." I came to sit down next to him again. "I've been his older brother, and I've looked after him, and then you come along, and suddenly, he doesn't need me any more, so I was angry, I guess, and I'm sorry." He looked genuinely upset, which I have to say I was surprised at, as I had been expecting some sort of half assed apology.

"You know that that's not true - earlier, he stayed with you. He didn't come to me." I took his hand in what I hoped was a reassuring gesture.

"How about we agree not to fight. Then, he won't have to choose between us." I suggested, and he smiled at me.

"Deal." He said, and we shook on it.

"I'll see you around, yeah?" He said, and walked out, pausing only to place the folded t shirt in my open drawer, and then holding the door open to let Jody back in.

"How'd it go?" She asked, once the door had closed.

"It went well, actually. He apologised, end of story, really. Oh, and we made a kind of peace treaty." I placed my fourth and final t shirt in the open drawer, and shutting it.

"I think I've finished unpacking." I smiled up at her, but she didn't smile back.

"Do you trust him?" She asked, and I remembered what Tee had said earlier about everyone having their problems with him, and realised that that probably included Jody.

"I guess... It's not like I've done anything drastic, we've just agreed to be civil."

"I know - just don't go getting attached."

"I think I can handle it." I stood up, taking my dirty plate and cutlery from earlier off the top of the dresser.

"I'm just gonna go and wash this up, I'll be right back."

I had just finished drying the plate and cutlery when Mike walked into the kitchen, and stopped when he saw me.

"Ah, Alex, could I talk to you? It won't take minute." He asked, and I finished drying the cutlery and followed him out of the kitchen and into the office.

"I heard about the whole coffee table debacle, and I just want you to know that I you ever feel like you have to do something like that, I can help, and you don't need to tell them anything about your past if you don't want to - bringing you here is all about giving you the opportunity to move forwards again." I nodded, starting to walk out, but apparently he wasn't quite finished.

"Just one more thing- I have some bad news for you I'm afraid- you can't keep the cat. I'm sorry." He said, and I shook my head in disbelief.

"You don't understand!" I protested "She was my mum's before she - before she -" I couldn't even finish my sentence, but Mike's expression made it clear that I hadn't persuaded him.

"I'm sorry, but we already have one pet, a dog, and they might not get on at all, not to mention that people could have allergies, and there simply isn't enough space for her, or money to buy food. We can give her to a good home, though, and I have bought her some food for now, just until we find her a suitable owner, okay?" I nodded again; there was no suitable reply to this, I mean, how should you react to being told that you are going to be separated from your last connection to your mother? I walked out and up the stairs, angry and upset to say the least, and in my distraction I walked straight into Carmen.

"I'm so- oh, it's you." I said, and took another step up the stairs, but she grabbed my arm.

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier, I just wasn't thinking. Can you forgive me?" She gave me a pleading look, and I smiled begrudgingly.

"I guess I've heard worse. You're forgiven."

"Great!" She hugged me, making me genuinely smile.

"See you tomorrow!" She said, and carried on running down the stairs.

I considered going to tell Harry the news about Minnie now, but it was getting late, so I decided to leave it until the morning, and just went straight to my room where Jody was sat on her bed reading The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien in her pyjamas.

"You took your time." She said, turning the page and not looking up, and I shut the door behind me before replying.

"I didn't realise I was on a schedule, but Mike had to talk to me about the whole thief thing."

"He isn't kicking you out is he? That's not fair! He can't just do that!"

"Don't worry, he just told me that I could talk to him if I needed to or some crap like that, and he's getting rid of Minnie." I flopped down onto my bed next to the said cat, who had fallen asleep on my pillow where Ryan had left her.

"I'm sorry." She said seriously, but didn't seem to have any solutions to this problem.

I changed into my single set of pyjamas, and gently moved Minnie from my pillow an onto the makeshift cat bed Jody had helped my build out of a couple of cushions and a blanket. She mewed quietly in her sleep, but to my relief she remained asleep.

"Lights out in five minutes by the way." Said Jody, having returned to her book briefly before checking the time.

"Bathroom's down the corridor, right?" I asked, grabbing my travel tooth brush and half-sized toothpaste, and Jody simply nodded, now almost fully engrossed in her book, and brushed my teeth before returning to our room, finally turning the light out and sleeping for my first night at Ashdene Ridge, or, as most people called it, The Dumping Ground.


	4. Chapter 4

Past

I paused the current episode of The Mist I was watching and made my way up the stairs, hoping that maybe she just wanted a lie in, or she hadn't realised how late it was and accidentally stayed in bed, but I knew, deep down, how unlikely either of those scenarios were. I knocked tentatively on the door of her bedroom.

"Don't let them in!" I heard her terrified reply, and I knew that this would be one of the worst days of all. Sad mum I could deal with, and even angry mum at a push, but scared mum was on a whole new level - I had to watch my every word, my every movement, because any little thing could send her down into a spiral of fear.

"It's okay, mum. It's just me. Can I come in?" I said softly against the door.

"Yes, just... Just don't let them in!" I opened the door slowly, letting her see that it was me, her daughter, first, before allowing myself into the room fully.

"They're here!" She said, and I saw tear tracks on her face.

"It's going to be okay, mum, but you have to calm down. You're safe." I maintained my gentle tone, but she merely whimpered.

"You don't understand. They're here. They're here! They won't stop until we're both dead!"

Present

Jody shook me awake, and I yawned sleepily, before sitting up slowly, blinking a couple of times, and stretching my arms.

"You're such a deep sleeper! I've been shaking you for ages!"

"What time is it?" I asked, and got out of bed, almost free of my sleepiness.

"It's eight, I know it's not a lie in, but we'll have a lot of chores."

"Ok, just let me get dressed. I'll be right down." I dressed in the same clothes as yesterday, ran a brush through my hair and threw it in a quick ponytail, and smiled at Minnie, still sleeping in her bed and went downstairs into the kitchen where almost everyone else was already eating, and I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and sat down next to Tyler.

"That's all you're having?" Asked Jody from the other side of the table. I glanced down, and saw her plate pile high with toast and bacon and scrambled eggs.

"Yeah, I'm not really a breakfast person." I shrugged and took a bite of the apple.

"But what about bacon?!" Exclaimed Tyler. "How do you survive without bacon?!" I laughed.

"I've never really liked bacon that much."

"You don't like bacon? And you think you know someone." He shook his head at me in mock disgust.

"We literally just met yesterday."

"Yeah, but still - you don't like bacon!"

I finished eating my apple and, still siting down, lobbed my apple core in the bin and poured some of the cheap cat food Mike and May-li had bought into her cat bowl. I walked upstairs and into my room, but Minnie had gone, and for a second I was worried, but then I remembered just who might have cat-napped her.

"Hey, Tee, where's Ryan's room?" I asked her as she walked past.

"That way and on the left." She pointed me in the right direction.

"Thanks."

I followed her directions and knocked on his door.

"Who is it?" He asked, and instead of replying I pushed the door open.

"I believe you've stolen my cat again." I raised my eyebrows at him, and he looked nonchalantly up at me from where he was sat on his bed, reading a comic, with Minnie curled up in his lap.

"Is it stealing if she came to me?" I rolled my eyes, and I put Minnie's bowl of food down on the floor, and she jumped down and started to eat.

"I have to give her up, you know." His head snapped up.

"What?"

"Mike said I can't keep her."

"That's ridiculous!"

He gestured for me to sit down and I joined him on the bed.

"They think that it'll cost too much, and some of the others could be allergic, and, oh yeah, she might not get on with Mischief the dog."

"If Bailey was allowed to keep that mangy animal, I can't believe they'd do that! We can figure out something, I'm sure."

"We?"

"Yeah, d'you want my help or not?"

"Look, I honestly don't think that there's anything we can do, and I don't want to get on anyone's bad side. If an opportunity arises, then sure, but for now I don't see a way around this." He looked down for a second, and then nodded.

"Okay. Do you want to go downstairs?" I stood up.

"Yeah. Sure." We walked down to the kitchen in virtual silence, and walked in to see Tyler balancing an orange on his forehead.

"What the hell?" I muttered under my breath, and Ryan let out a quiet laugh.

"Trust me, that's normal around here."

"55... 56..."

Mo was counting, glancing at his watch, but the orange began to wobble.

"57... " but the orange had fallen off. Some of the other kids who were crowded around him reached forwards and grabbed pound coins from the table.

"Are you gambling?" Asked May-li, who had just walked in.

"Come on, just give me another chance! I need that cash!" Said Tyler.

"Well what for?" May-li was still as confused as I was.

"A pass to the leisure centre - they've done it all up! It's got a wave machine and everything."

"You're entitled to a free pass y'know. You all are."

"What?"

"Yeah, it's in the forum news letter."

Carmen handed him the leaflet she had been reading.

"What's this all about?"

"The children in care council forum." Carmen replied.

"Yeah, all the members are young people in care." Added May-li. "It's good - gets things done.

"A free leisure centre pass! This is brilliant!" Exclaimed Tyler, making May-li laugh.

"They do other things as well."

"Can I get free tickets to the football?"

"Not just free stuff, Tyler." May-li sounded a little exasperated. "You know, it gives you a voice. Lets you be heard."

"Mmkay... So who do we ask about this?"

"Er, well, we don't have a representative, but we can put one up; there's a space for Ashdene Ridge, all we gotta do is just nominate someone."

"Seriously? I'm well up for that!" This last comment was met with sniggers from everyone else.

"I'm serious. I could do that." He looked affronted. "It's, you know, important."

"Come on, you've only just heard of it." Said Bailey, who Tyler had introduced me to that morning.

"Okay, so, Tyler it is then." Smiled May-li.

"Hold on a minute. I want to do it!" Said Floss, looking almost triumphant.

"Oh, come on, you?" Smirked Tyler.

"Yes, and it's not just because I want the freebies."

"But it's not just because I-"

"You so do." Cut in Kazima.

"Alright, alright. Looks like we're gonna have an election, then." Said May-li. "Tyler against Floss." To this, Floss looked as though she'd already won, but Tyler looked disappointed.

"Don't worry Tyler - I'll vote for you." I smiled in an attempt to cheer him up, and he looked slightly less down.

Everyone left the kitchen and went their separate ways, and I followed Harry.

"Um, Harry? Can I have a word?" I asked, and he smiled up at me.

"Yeah, sure. What's up?"

"It's about Minnie."

"What happened?! Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine. It's nothing like that, but Mike and May-li won't let us keep her. We get enough time to find her a good owner, but that's it."

I knew that her wasn't as attached to her as I was, but I knew that it would still come as a blow to him.

"I'll talk to him - to Mike. I'll get him to change his mind." And before I could reply, he had run off to the lounge, probably to get back up from some of his friends, but I walked straight to Mike's office, where I could hear raised voices, as Ryan was hovering, ear suspiciously close to the door.

"What are you doing?" I asked, as his head snapped towards me, and he not-so-subtly moved away from the door.

"Nothing." He said, and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Since when is eavesdropping nothing?"

"Keep it down would you!" It took him a second to realise what he had said.

"Okay, fine, I'm eavesdropping. Now, please just shut up!" I raised my hands in surrender, and after a couple of seconds, a furious looking Carmen stormed out of the office, and Ryan jerked his head away from the door.

"How do you know I won't just tell everyone?"

"Lucky guess?" He shrugged, smirking, and before I had the chance to reply, I heard Tee's

voice.

"You should've put yourself up for this, Sash." She said to the girl waking next to her with the rainbow dreads.

"Oh, you reckon?" She looked pleased with herself.

"Yeah, you'd be well good!"

"Are you having a laugh? She makes Tyler look like Barrack Obama." Said Ryan.

"Hark who's talking." I retorted.

"Yeah, who asked you?" Said Sasha, folding her arms.

"Sorry, you don't have to stand for us to know you're a loser." Ryan said, and with that, he walked off with everyone else.

"Right, everybody listen up, okay?"

We were gathered in lounge, where May-li was explaining the rules of voting.

"There's a few rules - everyone has only one vote, on these." She held up a smallish piece of paper with two boxes drawn on it, one labelled Tyler and the other Floss.

"So you put your X on Tyler or Floss."

"Only vote for Floss." Floss cut in.

"Yeah, thank you. Then, you pop it in the slot like this." She finished, looking around to check that we all understood.

"How to we know who to choose?" Asked a younger girl whose name I hadn't learnt yet.

"They'll have to persuade you, and you have until," May-li checked her watch "four o'clock."

"Got it." Said Mo.

"Oh, and no asking Mike and I for help, yeah? We have have to be impartial. We can't be seen taking sides okay, so good luck to the both of you."

"Don't forget - vote Floss!" Floss smiled around as everyone dispersed, and Tyler looked a little lost. He walked over to Carmen, who didn't look very convinced by what he was saying, and it looked like Floss had already won.

"Hey, Alex, do you want to come to he skate park with me? I'm meeting a few of my friends there and I thought I could introduce you." It was Harry.

"Yeah, I'd love to! I, uh, don't have a skateboard or anything though."

"Oh, that's okay. You can borrow mine if you like. Or, you could just watch."

"Yeah, let's do it." We walked to Mike's office to let him know that we were leaving.

"Mike, I'm going now, and Alex is coming too if that's okay."

"Where are you going?"

"To the skate park. You said I could."

"Oh, yeah, of course. Off you go." Mike waved a dismissive hand at us. Harry grinned at me, an we began to walk out of the office, when I heard May-li say to Mike,

"You've done the risk assessment for that, right?"

And then his frantic reply,

"No, no." I turned around, and he almost dived through the door.

"Harry, I'm sorry mate, you can't go today."

"But you said! I'm meeting my friends there." I could tell that Harry was more upset than he was letting on.

"Well, I haven't done a risk assessment."

"So do one now!"

"It's not that simple, Harry. I'd have to go to the skate park and-"

"Well come on then, my friends are waiting for me."

"Harry, no! I can't just drop everything!" Mike'svoice was getting louder as he got more frustrated with Harry, and I felt as though I should cut in, though I had no idea what to say.

"Well why not?" Asked Harry.

"You're not the only person here alright!" Mike was yelling now, and his raised voice had attracted the attention of Ryan, who had come through the kitchen door looking curious. "Some of us have to keep this place running!" He was reminding me of when mum got angry in her Bad Days, and I felt frozen, remembering what it was like. I had thought I was safe here, but maybe Mike was just as bad.

"I don't suppose you ever think about that, do you?!"

"Mike!" May-li was trying to cut in an calm Mike down, and I gave Ryan a 'help' look.

"Forget it." Said a completely put out Harry. He walked over to where Ryan and now several other people had gathered, and Ryan put his arm around him. I followed, and stood on the other side of Ryan.

"I'm sorry Harry, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that." Mike finally seemed to get it together, but I was still braced for another outburst.

"Look, I promise that I'll sort it out."

"Are you okay?" I heard Ryan mutter into my ear, and I almost jumped in surprise.

"Yeah, I just- it reminded me of my mum, and I just... I just panicked."

I looked up at him, and he gave me a reassuring smile.

"It's okay, I know what it was like. My mum - she had anger problems, and there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say, to calm her down. She hated me." I placed a hand on his arm as Mike finished speaking so we walked outside as I joked, trying to cheer him up, though it had been the other way around mere seconds ago,

"Maybe we should start a club- the Society for the Protection of People with Angry Mothers."

"Catchy." He said sarcastically.

"We could call it S.P.P.A.M for short." He gave me a half smile.

"Spam. Even better." We reached the kitchen.

"Though I do feel like we'd just get a load of kids who hadn't done their homework."

"Or forgotten to tidy their rooms." We both laughed.

"You know, you're not the only one, Harry." Said a peeved Carmen.

"Four times he said he'd do my file now. Four times!" She looked pointedly at May-li, who had just entered the kitchen.

"I'm sorry he hasn't done it yet." She replied.

"And Harry's form." I added.

"Yeah."

"Come on, let's have a kick about." Said Ryan, walking away with Harry, and when I made no move to follow, he turned around.

"You coming or what?"

"Sure, but I'm warning you now, I'm hopeless."

"You'll be learning from the best."

He grinned, and I followed them into the garden.

"Modest." I said sarcastically, and he grinned at me again, running over to get the the ball from where someone had left it in the goal.

"It's so stupid." Said Harry, passing the ball to me. "Why do I need a form to go and hang out with my mates?" I passed it to Ryan, surprisingly successfully; it turned out that I wasn't as bad at it as I expected.

"That's just the way things are for us mate. They just keep letting us down." Replied Ryan, and Harry looked up at him.

"Some people more than others." He gave the ball a powerful kick into the net, clearly annoyed at something, though I didn't know what. Maybe it had happened before I'd got there? Or maybe I was missing something? Either way, it seemed as though our brief game was over.

We walked inside, and I sat on a sofa next to Jody and Tyler.

"Got anyone else to vote for you, then?" I asked, to which he looked deflated.

"He's got me - I'm his campaign manager though, so I dunno if that really counts." Jody replied. I snorted.

"You're gonna have to do a bit better than that."

"Free sweets and DVDs if you vote for Floss!" I heard Mo announce.

"Now that's how you win an election." I said, standing up again, and Jody and Tyler followed suit, and I heard Ryan say

"Hey, when did the rules change about not changing sides?" Jody and Tyler rushed past me, and I followed to see May-li with one of Floss's posters.

"Yeah, how is that not changing sides?" Demanded Tyler, arms folded.

"Wha- no- I was just putting a poster up." Protested May-li, an Jody stepped forwards, arms also folded.

"So you're doing ours next?"

"No, cuz you're tall enough." Floss advanced on Jody, and they began arguing loudly, Mo trying to break it up, but to no avail, and I noticed Ryan stood there, smirking at the chaos.

"Having fun?" I asked, and he rolled his eyes.

"Aren't you?" I was about to reply, but Mike's voice interrupted me.

"Quiet!" He yelled, making me flinch. I felt Ryan's hand on my shoulder, reassuring me that it was okay.

"Maybe you should put the posters up where you can reach please Floss." He said quietly, and I relaxed, glad that he wasn't going to continue yelling.

"Can you reach the bin?" Laughed Tyler, earning him a high five from Jody.

"Shut up!" Exclaimed Floss

"Thank you, Tyler." Sighed Mike. "Let's try and keep this election on track, shall we?" He backed into the office, and May-li reached for the poster, as did Jody.

"I'll help you get it down May-li. Down on the floor!"

I went back outside with Harry and Ryan, and we carried on kicking the ball around, and Tee joined us. I could also hear Tyler trying to persuade Carmen to vote for him (again) and it not going very well, until I heard her saying something about her file, and the two fist bumped. Apparently, Ryan had been listening too, as he walked over from the game to talk to Tyler, and we followed.

"You know, Mike made Harry miss his trip today." He said.

"Because of some stupid form." Cut in Harry.

"Yeah, I know, how stupid's that? So you can get rid of all that, yeah, in this forum thing."

"Yeah, okay. Risk assessments gone." Tyler was beginning to look less hopeless.

"You should speak to Kaz about that. Yeah, she was moaning about it the other day. I think she's in the kitchen." Said Tee, and Jody nodded at Tyler as they both walked off to the kitchen, Tee following enthusiastically.

Instead of tagging along, I decided to sit down at the bench with Carmen, and we were joined by Ryan and Harry.

"Did I hear you talking about Vampire Diaries earlier?" I asked, knowing that this was the box set she had requested from Floss in return for her vote.

"Oh God. Not you too! She doesn't stop going on about it." Groaned Ryan, making me laugh.

"You like it too, then?" She asked, ignoring Ryan. "Stefan or Damon?" She asked, referencing the two vampire brothers who played main roles in the show.

"Oh, Damon all the way! Let me guess, you prefer Stefan?"

"Yeah, Damon's an idiot! I mean, season on Damon... He was just a twat!"

"Harsh... "

"Oi, Ryan, you on me. Penalties." Called Sasha, who was walking down the lawn towards us.

"You having a laugh? You really want me to humiliate you in front of all of these?"

"I think I can take it."

He scoffed, but stood up anyway, dribbling the ball to the place he was going to take his first shot from.

"'Kay, you asked for it." He waited for her to take her place in the goal, before easily scoring his first goal.

"Best of three." She appeared not to be out out in the slightest. He prepared to take the shot, but before he could kick the ball, Sasha whistled, and a dog came running at Ryan, who let out a cry of fear, making Carmen laugh loudly, but I stood up, and stood between Ryan, who was attempting to run away, and the dog, running at full pelt towards him.

"Sit." I commanded, and for a second it looked unsure, but then it sat at my feet. Another dog came running from the same direction, and the one at my feet looked as though it were about to get up again, but I repeated my command, as firmly as I could, and both dogs say at my feet. I crouched next to them, stroking them and rubbing their backs until I saw Bailey walk over and sit next to Sasha. I stood back up, and began to walk, the dogs following calmly behind me.

"How the hell did you do that?" He asked incredulously, and I smirked.

"Magic." I replied.

"No, seriously, I've been trying to get them to calm down all day!"

"You just need a bit of authority and some practise."

"I have authority! And anyway, I have a dog you'd think I'd know."

I shrugged.

"Apparently not."

I walked back l up the lawn and inside, where Ryan was waiting by the door.

"Thanks, by the way." He said.

"That's okay, it was nothing."

"No, seriously, thank you. I was kinda expecting you to just laugh."

"What kind of friend would I be if I did?"

"So we're friends now?" His words made me realise what I'd said; he didn't really strike me as the sort to have friends, more allies, and he was probably only talking to me for Harry's sake.

"Oh, I mean... Only if you want to be?" I looked up at him, feeling awkward to say the least.

"Yeah, I mean, you did just save me from a pair of rabid dogs."

"Well, I wouldn't say rabid. They were actually pretty cute."

"Don't push it." He said warningly, though I could tell that he was joking, and I just laughed, and he did too.

"Vote for Tyler! Vote for the ends of risk assessments! Don't vote for Floss, she's corrupt!" Tyler had attracted a small crowd in the corridor, where he and Jody had constructed a small podium, and he was yelling through a megaphone.

"Everyone vote for-" but Mike had snatched the megaphone from him.

"Get down from there. Now. No more risk assessments - is that what you're telling people?" He snatched one of Floss's posters from the wall. "And this isn't any better - free DVDs?" Ryan gave me an amused look. "Look. This forum is a responsibility which the two of you don't seem ready for, so this election's over." This was met with an outburst of complaints, and Tyler said,

"Hang on a minute! If you cancel the election, then we've got no voice for the forum. Look. I know you all thought it was just for the free passes and stuff, and I did too. I can admit that. But it's not! It's so much more! We can be councillors. Politicians, even. Now listen to us. Help us get a bit of control over our own lives. You've always told us we can do what we want, Mike. Well, I want this." After a couple of seconds, Jody began clapping, and the rest of us joined in.

"Alright, Tyler. Last chance. Do not waste it." Conceded Mike.

"Right, polls close in fifteen minutes, what are you waiting for?" Said May-li, and everyone gradually filtered through into the lounge where forms and ballot box had been placed, apart from Floss and Mo and Tyler and Jody, who went upstairs.

"Oh, Alex, Harry isn't still upset about earlier, is he?" Mike asked me from the doorway of the office, and I shrugged.

"He's okay."

"But he's still a bit upset." Cut in Ryan.

"Oh. Okay." He turned to May-li, still in the doorway. "What are you looking for?" He asked her.

"Oh, Carmen's file. I could see how busy you are, I thought I'd update it. Where is it?"

"It's in my car." Mike had lowered his voice, but I could still hear him.

"It's in your car?"

"Yeah."

"Mike, those files aren't allowed outside the house!"

He turned to Ryan and I and said, "We'll continue this later, okay?"

I just nodded, but Ryan said, "But I thought you wanted to speak about Harry?"

"Ryan, please, just go."

He shut the door, but Ryan didn't move.

"What are you going to do?" I asked him quietly.

"What do you mean?" He turned towards me.

"You know what I mean. You've got the same look you had when you were eavesdropping earlier. What are you going to do?"

"I'll tell you if I don't get caught."

"Okay, fine." I said, though I had a sneaking suspicion that it was something to do with the file Mike had been talking about.

I walked into the lounge, but Ryan didn't follow. Tyler was frantically trying to get more people to vote for him, and Floss was handing out sweets. In other words, it was chaos. I filled in my sheet, and managed to push my way through to the box and push it in, just before May-li announced that time was up, and Mike proclaimed Tyler our winner.

We had been gathered in the lounge for so sort of announcement, and everyone was speculating what it might be.

"I think he's won the lottery." Said Jody.

"Like he'd tell us if he did!" Scoffed Bailey.

"What do you think, Carmen?" Asked Tee, but she didn't reply.

"Hey everyone, thanks for waiting." Said Mike, who had just walked through the door, followed by May-li. "So, earlier today, someone broke into my car."

"Did they nick anything?" Asked Harry, but he was promptly shushed by Jody.

"No, Jody, it's fine. Yes Harry, they took some paperwork. Paperwork to do with running this place. Important files that I shouldn't really have had in the car. There's gonna be an investigation."

"By the police?" Asked Sasha.

"Not just that, Sasha. I shouldn't have taken this paperwork out of the office, so my bosses will want to have a look at it as well, so while they're doing that, I'm stepping down."

"Hang on," said Carmen, "So you're leaving?"

"For the time being, yes."

Everyone broke out into complaints, telling him how he couldn't step down, how they needed him. Everyone, that is, apart from Ryan.

"So this was your plan." I muttered in his ear, having to stand on my tiptoes, making sure that no one else could hear me.

"Hey, guys, let Mike speak, yeah?" May-li's voice cut across the racket.

"But it's not his fault! Someone broke into his car!" Protested Tyler.

"It is my fault, Tyler. I made a mistake. I've let you down, as that's why I think it's right for me to step aside."

"I shouldn't have got angry. I let you down." Said Harry.

"This isn't easy, believe me. I don't know when I'll be back. But I do know that you'll all be fine because you'll all look out for each other."

He walked away, and Harry ran off, but I knew better than to follow him; he needed a few minutes to cool off first.

"I just... Can't imagine this place without him." Said Tee despondently; we had moved through to the kitchen, where May-li had made a start on dinner.

"Try and be positive, Tee. We don't know what's gonna happen yet." She said, though she didn't look very positive herself. I decided to leave, not really in the mood for their depressing conversation, especially not when there might be something I could do about it.

I knocked on Ryan's door after checking to see if Harry was okay (he refused to come out of his room), and when he asked who it was, I walked straight in.

"Why? You saw how Harry was! I know you probably don't care about everyone else, but he's refusing to leave his room." Ryan turned around and glared at me.

"This benefits you, you know. Maybe you'll get to keep your cat."

"Don't act like you did this for me, we both know that that's not true."

He sank onto his bed, no longer sounding angry, just sounding defeated.

"He told the others things about me that they weren't supposed to know, and I just- I can't forgive him for it." I came to sit down next to him.

"We all make mistakes, just try and put this right. For Harry." He smiled at me.

"How do you not hate me right now?"

"Because I know you'll try, and if I'm not here for you, no one will be."

To my surprise, his arms embraced me in a hug, and I hugged him back, knowing that we had now moved far beyond our peace treaty of yesterday, and that I was going against Jody's advice. I was getting attached to Ryan Reeves.


	5. Chapter 5

Past

I put my arms around my mum slowly, carefully, and she hugged me back, clinging to me as if I was the only thing stopping her from drowning, and I could hear her ragged breathing.

"It's okay. No one's going to hurt you. It's okay." When she seemed to relax slightly, I pulled back so that she could see my face.

"Nothing's going to happen to either of us. Now, do you think you can come downstairs and get something to eat?" I had managed to calm her down before, but she seemed to lose it again, letting out a terrified sob, and muttering under her breath about them and how they were coming for us, and I knew better than to ask her who they were; the first time this had happened was a year or so after I had been separated from Harry, and I was expecting anger or sadness, but instead I got fear, and when I asked who they were, she had what I now understood to be a panic attack, but back then all I could do was talk to her, trying to get her to calm down, and trying not to lose it myself.

Present

The next few days passed in a blur of chaos. I had moved schools so that I was going to the same one as Ryan, Tyler and Jody, and I had spent the first few days having to explain why I didn't have a school tie or blazer, and being the new kid was never going to be perfect, though I definitely didn't miss my old school. After school, I had homework and chores, and I spent any free time I had getting to know the other kids; playing with Minnie; chilling with Tyler and Jody; chatting with Tee and Carmen or messing around with Harry and Ryan. Oh, and of course there was the added stress of Mike's impending trial, hanging over all of us like an ominous storm cloud.

When it finally reached Saturday again, it felt as though any hope of Mike's suspension being a bad dream had finally been drained from the house; everyone just sat around, not talking unless they had to, until May-li came in.

"Right everyone, we are going out for the day!" She said enthusiastically, but unfortunately our enthusiasm was less that half hearted.

"Yeah, where to?" Asked Bailey.

"Green Acres Farm Park." The only person who looked pleased about this was Mo, who said,

"Yes!" But I felt sceptical, and, judging by everyone's facial expressions, they did too, and anyway, I couldn't really go anywhere; Harry was still refusing to leave his room, despite mine and Ryan's best efforts, and even Floss and Finn had tried. He only opened the door to us once, and that was because he wanted to see Minnie.

"Is this a rubbish attempt of taking our minds off Mike being sacked?" Demanded Sasha.

"Mike has not been sacked." Said Carmen.

"Yeah, not yet." Agreed Jody despondently.

"Mike would still be here if we had a decent forum rep." Said Floss, directing her words at Tyler, who looked indignant.

"Look. I raised it, but they said it was down to Mike's bosses. There wasn't anything we could do."

"It's not Tyler's fault Mike got suspended." I cut in.

"It's someone's." Replied Floss, and I saw Ryan looking down guiltily.

Everyone was getting ready to go, but I stayed upstairs.

"Harry, come on. We're going out, you have to come." I said, sat outside his door.

"Just leave me alone." I heard him say, and I saw Ryan coming up the stairs.

"We're going now, by the way. Has he still not come out?"

"What do you think? Look, I think we should just stay here with him. I don't think he's going anywhere."

"Okay, sure. I'll tell May-li." And he ran off, leaving me outside Harry door.

A couple of minutes later, Ryan appeared in the corridor again.

"Harry? I told May-li you're sick, and she's gonna let us stay with you. If you come out, we can have a kick about in the garden, yeah?"

"Go away."

"Harry, please." I said, but he just ignored my words.

"What's up with you mate?" Ryan tried again.

"Just go away!"

"Alright." Ryan sighed, but instead of leaving, he came over to sit down next to me.

"Shona just called." It was Carmen, to my surprise.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm staying too. May-li said I could. Anyway, Shona's had an emergency call from another care home, but she said she'll be here I about an hour."

She knocked on Harry's door.

"Harry, I've got Jeff out here. Floss said to leave him behind for you." She said gently, but Harry didn't come out.

"Just leave him there and go away! All three of you!" He said.

"Harry, what's up?" She asked.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No..."

"Mike's gone and I want him back. I what Mike back!" His voice broke and Carmen went downstairs, returning a few minutes later with a banana milk shake.

"Harry, I've brought you a banana milkshake." She said.

"He doesn't like banana milkshakes." I sighed.

"Why are you here?" Asked Ryan.

"Excuse me?" Carmen sounded affronted.

"Well, I'm his mate, and Alex is his sister. Why are you here?"

"Me and Harry are mates too."

There was a moment of silence.

"Jeff's still out here. He's getting a bit lonely." I said, attempting to coax him out, but with no real hope of success.

We waited a couple of minutes in silence, until Ryan finally stood up, offering his hand to me to help me up, a we walked down to the kitchen in silence.

"Are you not taking to me now?" He asked me, quietly enough that Carmen, who had started to follow us, couldn't hear.

"No, I'm sorry. In just worried about Harry." I replied, having been too engrossed in my own thoughts before to worry about starting a conversation.

"So am I, but he's going to be fine. He just needs some time. I nodded, and reached for a glass in the cupboard, but most of them were either in need of washing or drying, and the few left were right at the back of the top cupboard.

"Need a boost?" Ryan asked mockingly.

"I appreciate the offer, but I'm good thanks."

"Really? Doesn't look like it." He reached over my head, a brought down my glass.

"I could've done it myself, you know."

"Not without stilts." I rolled my eyes.

"Great, I'm gonna have to put up with you two flirting all afternoon." Grumbled Carmen.

"Yeah right." Scoffed Ryan, and I waked over to the tap, not bothering to reply, and filled my glass with water.

"What are you up to, anyway?" Ryan asked Carmen.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well I'm not stupid, I know you. You'd normally be stretched out on the sofa painting your nails or something. But instead, you spend the time trying to get Harry out of his room. I don't get it." Carmen looked at me for support, but I just shrugged.

"He has a point." I said, and she walked off, probably to go to Harry's room, so I followed.

"Alex, Jeff's gone." She said, sounding genuinely worried.

"What?" Ryan had just come up the stairs, and I pointed to where Jeff had once been.

"Jeff. He's gone."

Carmen pushed the door open.

"Harry?" Carmen said, but the room was empty.

"He's gone." I said.

"Right, we have to split up." Said Carmen. "Ryan, check up here, Alex check downstairs and I'll check the garden." I was expecting down sort of complaint about how bossy she was from Ryan, but he just nodded and walked off. I smiled at her, and we walked downstairs.

"So... You and Ryan?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"Are we seriously doing this now? My brother is missing!"

"So you do like him, then?"

"That's not what I said!"

"You didn't need to." She smirked at how flustered I was getting.

"I don't like him like that! We're just friends!" She began to walk towards the back door, still smirking infuriatingly.

"That's what they all say. It's okay, your secret's safe with me." And she left before I could make any further protests.

I checked the lounge, bathroom and even the basement, but to no avail; Harry was nowhere to be found. After a couple of minutes of searching, I went outside to find Carmen, and Ryan caught up with me.

"No luck?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"We'll find him. Don't worry, he's probably in the garden." But Carmen's stricken face said otherwise.

"He's gone. Look, his bike's gone, he could be anywhere! We gotta call someone!"

"Who?" I asked hopelessly, and Carmen ran inside.

"I'm gonna call Mike." She said.

"Mike?" Asked Ryan as the phone began to ring.

"Yeah, well he is the reason why Harry disappeared!" We waited for a few seconds, and finally Carmen said, "He's not answering."

"I'll call Harry." Ryan said, and I nodded. I would've been the one to call, but I had drained the battery talking to one of my old school friends late last night, and forgotten to charge it.

"Harry, it's me. Just give us a ring back, let us know you're okay, yeah? Bye." He said when it had gone straight to the answerphone.

"Guys, I think we should tell May-li." Carmen was getting more and more stressed, as was I.

"No, she'll just call the police, and then Harry'll be in for it." Replied Ryan, and the house phone began ringing. I picked it up from where it was lying on a coffee table, and gave the two of them a 'what do I do?!' look, and Ryan snatched it from my hand.

"Hello, Ashdene Ridge." He said into the phone. "Yeah." He was replying to something the caller was saying.

"Who is it?" I mouthed to him.

"Shona." He mouthed back, and Carmen and I exchanged a scared look.

"Yeah, no worries." Ryan had carried on talking to Shona. "Oh yeah, Harry's tonnes better, we're gonna go to the park for the afternoon. Yep. See you then. Bye." He hung up.

"Let's go then." Said Carmen, and we grabbed our coats and hoodies and set off to the park.

"Ryan check the skate park, Alex check in the trees as I'll check the play area. He's bound to be somewhere." Carmen had organised us again, and we ran off in our separate directions.

There was a small area filled with trees, so I followed the dry path under the dappled sunlight for a few minutes, calling Harry's name at regular intervals and checking behind trees and bushes for him, but to no avail. In no time at all, I had reached the other side, and I was back in the field I had started in.

"He isn't there." I said to Carmen when I got back, and a few seconds later, Ryan was back with the same verdict.

"I can't believe I let him get away. I should've made him go in that bloody trip." I was ranting to myself, walking away from them slightly, feeling guilty and worried and upset, as well as the overwhelming sense that I could do nothing but stand by as god knows what happened to my brother.

I felt an arm go around me, and turned slightly to see Ryan.

"Don't beat yourself up. It was my fault, really." He said, but it did nothing to disperse my guilt.

"I'm his sister, I'm meant to look after him." I felt close to crying for the first time in years, and I felt ashamed at myself for breaking. I should still be looking for him, but here I was, face buried in Ryan's chest, his arms around me and mine around him. We stood there for a while, but eventually, Carmen cut in, and we pulled away, his arm still around me, but no longer blocking her out.

"Guys... It wasn't - it wasn't your fault. Either of you." She looked as guilty as I felt, tears beginning to leak from the corners of her eyes, and her face seemed to crumple.

"It... It was my file that got stolen. Maybe if I hadn't told the police, Harry would still be here."

"Your file was stolen?" I had forgotten whose file it was, and this reminded me that if wasn't just a random document or bit of paperwork - this was personal.

"I- yeah. Don't you see? It was my fault."

"It wasn't. You can't blame yourself for someone else stealing your file." She gave me a watery smile when I said this, and I felt Ryan take a sharp intake of breath when I mentioned about the thief. I wasn't going to grass him up, but I sure as hell would do my best to get him to put it right.

We went to sit on a bench on the off chance that Harry or Shona would show up, and Carmen was telling us about her file.

"So, when I found out that it was my file that was stolen, I just... I just freaked out. I just kinda feel like a part of me had been taken. You know, it has everything about me. My whole life story. There was a letter in there. The one letter I got from my mum. There was photographs. Photographs of me and her."

"I thought you hated your mum." Said Ryan. Carmen sighed and nodded.

"I do. She's still my mum though." We sat there in silence for a few minutes, but eventually I stood up.

"We should go back. Harry might be back by now." I suggested, and Carmen wiped the tears from her eyes as Ryan nodded, and we made our way back to the house.

I went straight upstairs to see if Harry was back in his room, but it was still empty, so I came back downstairs. I was about to tell the others when I heard Ryan's voice say "You know, you should probably tell everyone." It was obvious to me that he was trying to get her to take the blame, and I knew I shouldn't just stand by, but what could I really do?

"He's not there." I spoke up before Ryan could continue, and we walked through to the lounge an sat on a sofa.

"Just think. What does he want? What does Harry want?" Ryan was clearly getting more frustrated.

"Well, Mike obviously." Said Carmen.

"Why didn't we think of that sooner?!" I exclaimed.

"Think of what?" Carmen wasn't getting it.

"He must be with Mike!" Ryan finished for me.

"Yeah, but we've already tried calling like a million times."

"But we haven't tried his house yet." I said, hopeful for the first time that afternoon.

"Okay, I think I know where it is." Said Ryan, and we left the house again, this time in the opposite direction, with him leading the way.

"We've been down here on a trip or something, and Mike pointed his house out to me and Harry. I know it's this street, I just don't know the number." Ryan said when we had been walking for a few minutes.

"I do." Carmen had spotted Harry's bike outside a house, and we walked up to drive way and round the back of the house to the garden.

"Three kings." I heard Mike say.

"Cheat!" Answered Harry, and Mike took the cards from the middle of the table, and I cleared my throat at them. None of us were pleased.

"I did try and call May-li to tell her that Harry was here, but it went straight to voice mail." Mike had brought us drinks and set them down on the table, and was trying to defend himself.

"Maybe you should've tried harder, then. We had no idea he was safe! You're meant to be the responsible one!" I had finally had enough, and my emotions just simmered over in the form of rage.

"It's not Mike's fault!" Said Harry, as I bit my lip. I blamed him, but I guess it wasn't fair to get angry. At least Harry was safe.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped." I said, more for Harry's sake than for Mike's.

"That's okay. I understand. I know you were all worried about him."

After few seconds of silence, Harry said, "He had a meeting with his union rep."

"What did he say?" Asked Carmen.

"She." Mike corrected. "Well, it's uh, it's an ongoing thing."

"Will you come back? Ever?" Asked Harry.

"I don't know."

"Stupid suspension."

"I shouldn't have had confidential files in my car."

"I hate whoever broke in and stole them. They ruined everything." Ryan looked down, and I knew that he was regretting it, even if the only reason why was because it had upset Harry.

"I'll keep running away 'til you come back." Promised Harry.

"That'll just get me into even more trouble. And May-li. All of us. And you'll never solve anything by running away. You just have to carry on. We all do. Carry on and hope that it all turns out okay in the end."

"And what if it doesn't?" Asked Harry, still not completely convinced, but Mike didn't reply straight away.

"I'll walk you back, shall I? But Harry, this can't happen again." Said Mike, and Harry nodded meekly.

Mike walked us up to Ashdene Ridge's gate.

"Thanks Mike." Said Ryan, and Mike smiled at his gratitude.

"Mike, can I have a word?" Asked Carmen, and the two stopped by the gate, Ryan and I a couple of metres away.

"Eavesdropping again?" I muttered as Carmen began talking about her file, and Ryan stopped just close enough to hear them, but jut far enough away that it wasn't suspicious.

"Honestly, I'm not even surprised any more." I continued, and he gave me a look.

"Okay, I get it. I'll shut up." I said, somewhat indignantly, and he rolled his eyes at me; they had just finished talking.

"Shona's here." Said Harry, referencing a smiling woman standing in the doorway, and Carmen walked away from Mike.

"See you, Mike." Said Ryan, and we walked inside.

"I'll miss you." I heard Harry say, and I turned around.

"And you fella." Smiled Mike.

"I miss all of you." Mike was now directing his words at the three of us, too. "But hey, just think of it as me being in another room."

"Take him." Harry handed him Jeff the giraffe, as I smile back towards him.

Harry came towards us, and Mike left. I put my arm around Harry's shoulders as we walked through the door.

We walked through to the kitchen, and I sat on the counter. Carmen and Ryan leaned against the table.

"I've decided I'm not going to tell everyone that I told the police." Carmen said. "So please, both of you, just don't tell the others. I do not want that getting out."

"Your secret's safe with me." Said Ryan.

"Yeah, I won't tell anyone." I added, smiling at her.

"Thanks guys."

We spent the rest of the afternoon chatting and laughing, and Harry seemed a lot less out of it than before. Finally, the door burst open, revealing the group, striped with face paint that looked suspiciously as though it were actually mud.

"We nearly died! Like, loads of times!" Exclaimed Jody, leading the pack, and I laughed, as did the others.

"Yeah, it was a laugh though." Admitted Tee.

"Yeah, and Kazima built a really cool shelter!" Said Finn.

"Feeling better Harry?" Asked Billie, one of those twins.

"Tonnes, yeah, thank you."

"Anyone fancy a game of rounders?" Asked Kazima, and it was met with a chorus of enthusiasm, so we went outside to play. We decided to organise it as boys vs girls, and I figured out pretty soon that no one was afraid of cheating; Tyler had tackled several of us out of the way, and Jody was great at tripping the boys up, and there wasn't a second that went by without someone laughing.

We were the first team to bat, and Floss went first, then Jody (who Tyler blocked), and after her Kazima, who Bailey almost knocked over. Then it was my turn.

I managed to hit the ball, and there was a tense moment where we thought that Mo would catch it, and he only just missed, so I carried on running, feeling optimistic, but apparently my luck wasn't going to last; I hadn't noticed Ryan stick his foot out, and I went tumbling towards the ground, but in my fruitless attempt to remain upright, I had grabbed a fistful of his hoodie, and he was falling with me.

We landed on the floor, him on top of me, and I was suddenly very aware of how close we were, and that everyone was watching us, and how they had all gone quiet, and I couldn't hold it in any longer. I had to laugh, despite the awkward situation. Everyone had been waiting for my reaction tentatively (including Ryan, who had, after a couple of seconds, gotten up), and it appeared that they found it just as funny, and we were all laughing, me still on the floor, unable to get up, though Ryan had offered me his hand, as I was laughing too hard. After a minute or so, I took his hand, and he pulled me up, but I almost fell over again, still laughing, as I began to run; I may have spent a lot of time on the floor, but they hadn't technically gotten me out, and I passed Tyler and Bailey, both trying to stop me, and Mo yelled

"Ryan!" As he passed the ball to him. He caught it.

I was only a base away from being safe, but Ryan's legs were longer than mine, and he was so close to the post. He was about to tap it, but I got there first, and Jody whooped loudly for me, and Tee laughed.

"Hey, did you enjoy your trip?" Joked Jody, and it was such a bad pun that I groaned.

"Is that what passes for humour these days?" I said, and she placed a hand over her heart in mock shock.

Later that evening, when we had finished the game (the boys won, unfortunately, thanks to Bailey mostly) and dinner, I was in charge of washing up with Tyler.

"Good game." He grinned, filling he sink with bubbles.

"I still think we deserved to win." I said.

"Yeah, yeah. But think about it - which team spent more time on the floor than standing up?"

"Okay, fair point." I admitted, taking the tea-towel from the counter and drying the bowl that Tyler had just cleaned.

"Hey, Alex." He said, and I looked up.

"Wha-" but he had flicked a mass of bubbles at my face.

"Oh, it is on!"

I reached for the sink, and splashed him, so that he was covered in both water and bubbles, but he soaked me right back. We may not be the most efficient at washing up, but we definitely had the most fun.

After we had finished (finally) I wandered upstairs to change my t shirt. I walked into my room, and saw Minnie curled up asleep on the bed, and smiled. Apparently my cat wasn't all as young and lively as she sometimes pretended. I reached out to stroke her, not really worrying about waking her, as she was probably quite hungry, but something was wrong. She felt too cold. I reached out again, this time to pick her up, but she remained limp.

"Minnie?" I whispered, and felt for a heartbeat, a breath, anything to indicate that she was only sleeping, and that my brain was deceiving me, but there was nothing. My chest felt suddenly tight, and I scooped her small body up into my arms. She was lighter than I remembered; she must have been losing weight, and I hadn't even noticed. I should have done something. It was all my fault.

I couldn't breath. I couldn't think.

She was dead, and for the first time in years, I was crying.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N I'm really sorry for the late update, but I just wanted to say that I have had a lot going on lately, and I'll try and be quicker next time!

Past

"Mum, it's okay. Just breathe. Just breathe. Slowly." I was speaking gently and slowly, putting on a calm facade for her as I was so used to doing.

"Mum. Look at me. It's going to be okay." She nodded, looking slightly less stricken, and she seemed to slowly calm down, still looking into my eyes.

"Do you want to go back to bed?" I asked; this was normally what happened on these days - apparently Bad Days were as tiring for her as they were for me, but this time was different.

"No! Please... Please don't make me! The nightmares... I can't... " She appeared close to losing it again.

"No one's making you do anything, Mum. I promise." The amount of empty promises I had made about how everything would be alright could fill an ocean. She nodded slowly, and I smiled at her as reassuringly as I could, and we sat there for what felt like hours, speaking occasionally, but mostly in silence, and I was on edge for every second, until she made me laugh. It was a stupid joke, but soon we were both laughing so hard we were crying, and completely unable to form coherent sentences, and it was then that I let myself relax. Big mistake. I thought that, just maybe, the worst had passed, but all that changed when I heard a knock at the door, and the laughter melted from her face like wax.

Present

I heard someone knock on my door, and wiped the tears from my eyes immediately; I may have lost it when I was by myself, but in front of anyone else? That was a different story. I took a second to compose myself, and went to the door, laying Minnie gently on my bed, planning to tell Harry when I could count on myself not to lose it.

I opened the door, and saw Ryan standing there.

"I was ju- have you been crying?" He asked, and I felt like both face palming and crying again at the same time.

"No, I-" he cut me off, and I was surprised by what he said, expecting something cynical.

"It's okay if you were. I'm not going to judge you." I opened the door fully, and let him in.

"It's Minnie. She - she -" I couldn't even finish my sentence, my voice breaking, and I felt his arms around me, familiar and comforting. I buried my face in his chest, and held onto him as he stroked my hair gently, not saying anything, but not needing to either.

Eventually, I pulled back slightly to talk to him.

"Can you - can you help tell Harry?" I asked him.

"Of course. Do you want me to tell Mike? We can bury her in the flowers?" He asked me tentatively, obviously unsure how I'd react to this suggestion, and I nodded.

"Thank you." We gradually pulled apart, and went to Harry's room. Before we entered, I took his hand, needing his support more than ever. I knocked on the door with my free hand.

"Come in." Said Harry, and we walked in.

Harry didn't take the news very well, making me feel a whole lot worse about the situation, and I went downstairs to talk to Mike with Ryan, and he found me an ideal spot under a tree for me to finally let her go.

I insisted on burying her, and Harry came down eventually, and placed her gently under the tree, crying quietly.

Jody hugged me, and so did Tee an then Carmen when I came back inside, and all tried to cheer me up, and I honestly don't know what I would've done without them distracting me. It was also the first time I had seen Carmen getting along with Jody.

Finally, I came to bed. I knew that I would feel better in the morning, and wanted nothing more than to sink into sleep.

"Goodnight." Jody said to me as we got into bed.

"'Night." I replied, and turned the light off.

I was around a table with Harry and Mum. We were taking and laughing and eating, as most importantly, we were all happy but then the table faded, along with the laughter, and Harry screamed; blood was spreading through Mum's shirt.

"No! Please, no!" I cried out, trying to run to her, but finding myself frozen in place. She fell through the growing darkness, and Harry was following, and I couldn't move.

"No! Don't go!" But there was nothing I could do. The whole world was shaking, and I could only hear them crying out.

"No!"

But the darkness had lifted, and I was awake again, but for some reason the world hadn't stopped shaking, and as I understood when I opened my eyes. Someone had been shaking me to wake me up.

"Nightmare?" Asked a familiar voice quietly.

"Ryan? What are you doing here?" I asked, groggily.

"Shh. I heard you crying out and I wanted to make sure you were okay. Also, I couldn't get to sleep, and it was annoying me." I could tell that he was smirking at me, despite the darkness.

"Well, thanks for waking me. I think."

Jody snored loudly, and we froze for a second, scared that she would wake up.

"I think you should go... " I said reluctantly. "Just in case she wakes up and thinks you're a murderer or something." He laughed quietly.

"I'll be in my room if you need me. You know, if you have another nightmare."

"Thank you." The thought of him there, only down the hall, was comforting, and I fell back asleep. If I had anymore nightmares, I didn't remember them.

The next day, breakfast was a subdued affair, and though everyone seemed less depressed than yesterday morning, there was a lot less noise and general enthusiasm than the first weekend I had spent here. I spent most of the morning folding clothes with Bailey, who I have to say was not the greatest at pairing up (or folding together) socks. Then we went through to the kitchen, where everyone was gathered, and Floss was talking about all of he requirements for Mike's potential replacement.

"Right. We need to ask them if they like sprouts." She announced.

"Why?" Asked Jody.

"Because no one nice likes sprouts." She answered as if it was obvious.

"Yeah, well, I like sprouts." Replied Bailey, taking a seat at the table next to Kazima, and Floss shook her head mockingly.

"Anyway, Carmen should interview them. She has been here the longest." He continued, and Carmen didn't look very impressed at this idea.

"Why does Mike need luck?" Asked Tyler, who had just come in and spotted the poster Harry had been working on with Floss, and after a couple of seconds I saw Carmen stride out of the kitchen.

"It's his hearing today. May-li's going. I heard her organising cover." Harry replied, and May-li came into the kitchen with Ryan, who had spent most of the morning in his bedroom.

"You told me Shona was covering for a meeting!" Exclaimed an indignant Tee.

"Well, it is kind of a meeting." Said May-li.

"Is Mike gonna lose his job?" Asked Billie.

"Nothing's been decided yet, Billie.

That's why there's a hearing." Replied May-li, and I saw Carmen, who had looked more and more uncomfortable throughout this conversation, leave the room. May-li started to follow her, but only got a step before the doorbell rang.

"Is that the new Mike?" Asked Toni.

"It's just a temp job Toni." Said May-li as she walked out to the front door.

"Until Mike gets sacked." Added Kazima darkly.

After a few seconds, May-li brought three people in to the kitchen. There was a lady who appeared to be some sort of hippie, and older woman and a man with dark hair and a beard.

"So, you can meet the young people!" Said May-li as she led them in.

"Is it always this quiet?" Asked hippie-lady, an she was met by Floss and Jody shushing her loudly.

"Saving Mike, ay? He must be a special guy." Commented the man with the beard.

"Mike's the best." Answered Finn.

"Yeah, but Kay, Mary and Phoebe are nice people too, Finn." Said May-li, obviously trying to encourage us to be a bit more enthusiastic.

"Finn's right. No offence, but Mike is the best." Said Sasha.

"Why don't we wait outside? Give you a sec." Asked the older woman.

"Yeah. Thanks." Nodded May-li, and the three of them walked out.

"Right. I know you're all upset, but there's no need to be rude." She scolded us.

"Here's mine." Said Jody, presenting her with a piece of paper covered in writing, ignoring May-li's previous comment.

"And mine!" Added Floss, placing her picture on top of Jody's letter, and everyone else followed suit, placing pictures and posters and letters on the pile, all of them for Mike or the council, explaining why he needed to stay, or wishing him luck.

"They're amazing guys. I'll make sure he gets them. I promise."

"I thought you were showing them to the panel, not Mike." Said Ryan, who was leaning against a counter, arms folded.

"Yeah, you have to show the judge." Said Harry.

"It's not a criminal trial Harry, it's people from human resources."

"So show them!"

"I can't; I'm not allowed in."

"We'll take them in then." Suggested Tee.

"You wouldn't even get in the room. They just wouldn't allow it!" May-li was evidently finding it hard to be the one to bring down everyone's hopes.

"Just concentrate on the questions, okay guys?" She said, and everyone went back to Floss's questions for the potential new care workers, but I decided to go upstairs to see Carmen instead.

"Are you okay?" I asked as I pushed open her door.

"What do you think? This is all my fault!" She said, and I entered her room, sitting down in the bed next to her.

"Of course it's not your fault. You had every right to be angry, and how could you have known that this was going to happen?" She turned around to face me, and I saw tears on her face.

"Who's fault is it then? It's it Mike's? Is it human resources? Because it doesn't feel like that from here." I put an arm around her shoulders.

"Whoever stole the file is the one to blame. You did the right thing." I felt so guilty keeping Ryan's secret from her when she was feeling like this, but I knew that I would feel ten times worse if I told anyone about what he had done.

"Do you want to come downstairs? We could try and take over the TV and watch an episode of Vampire Diaries?" She smiled at my attempt to cheer her up.

"Sure, just give me a sec. I'll be right down." I nodded, and made my way downstairs. When she didn't come down for five minutes,

I decided to check on her; there was a chance that she has decided to redo her eyeliner or something, but there was also the chance that she was still upset. I went upstairs, and I could hear Ryan's voice.

"... can still save Mike" I heard him say to her from around the corner. Apparently, he was trying to persuade her to take the blame again.

"Keep your voice down!" Hissed Carmen.

"No! Look, go to the hearing, tell them it doesn't matter about your file, and beg them to let him off!"

"I can't!"

"It's your choice isn't it! Save yourself or save Mike." I could see Sasha coming down the hallway at this point; and Carmen stormed off past her.

"What was that about?" Sasha asked Ryan.

"Nothing."

"Didn't sound like nothing to me." She replied, and walked off after Carmen. Ryan followed her, and I walked after the three of them, unsure whether I should intervene or not. We went through to the kitchen, where everyone was still gathered, and Carmen was questioned by Sasha.

"So, what was that about with Ryan?" Asked Sasha, loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"I might've known. What's he done?" Said Tee.

"Oh shut up, it's got nothing to do with me!" He replied.

"Sounded like it to me!"

"It's not! Tell them, will you?" Ryan asked Carmen, and I have to admit, I really wanted to punch him in face, because when she turned around, she looked truly broken.

"She doesn't have to tell anyone anything!" I exclaimed, revealing my presence to Ryan, who hasn't noticed me standing there throughout.

"No, it's okay." She said to me, before turning to everyone else. "He's right. It's not him."

"So what did he mean then? How can you save Mike?" Sasha asked testily.

"Carmen? Carmen, what is it?" Asked Tee, but Carmen ran off. I looked up at Ryan, who was smirking to himself. Tee and Sasha ran off after Carmen.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked Ryan.

"Sure." He seemed surprised that I would want to talk to him, and it made me grit my teeth. We went into the hallway, away from everyone else.

"When I asked you to put this right, I didn't mean you should throw someone else under the bus!" I hissed, and he looked indignant.

"At least I'm doing something!" He retorted.

"And? Doing nothing is better than doing the wrong thing!"

"So saving Mike is the wrong thing now?"

"No, but saving him like this is!" He appeared speechless for a second, so I just walked off, angry at him and at myself for not trying harder, and for letting him do this to Carmen.

I returned to the kitchen, and everyone was standing there, listening to Sasha.

"... fault! It was her file stolen!" She said, and Carmen stood behind her. She had obviously been crying, and Tee was standing shoulder to shoulder with Sasha, arms folded.

"What's going on?" I asked, though I knew exactly what they were saying.

"It's all Carmen's fault. That's what's going on." Said Bailey, and Carmen ran out of the kitchen for the second time that day.

"Look what you've done! Can any of you honestly say that you would've done anything differently if it was your file stolen?" I exclaimed, making Bailey look slightly ashamed, and Sasha looking guilty.

"But it's okay!" Said Tee. "There still time, she can fix this."

"How?" Asked Tyler.

"She can tell them it was a mistake, or that she made it up or something!" Said Sasha, catching on.

"How do you know she'll agree to this?" I asked skeptically.

"I'll go talk to her." Said Tee, and left the room.

After a few minutes of hopeful conversation, May-li walked in.

"Right guys, I'm off to the hearing. Be good!" She said, and everyone chorused their goodbyes. We were left to interview and talk to the potential new head carers with Shona.

The hippie was the first to drop out, and then the older woman. The hippie wasn't up to it, and the older woman didn't think that she could live up to Mike's standards, which left us with the-guy-with-the-beard.

"Please May-li, there has to be someone else!" Begged Jody when May-li, Carmen and Tee had gotten back. We had all thought that there was a chance that Carmen would succeed, but apparently that wasn't the case, which meant that we would ended up with a bullying, inconsiderate arse as our new head carer, and May-li could do nothing about it.

"I'm sorry guys, there's nothing I can do. I'm sure he's not that bad, is he?"

"He made fun of Bailey's dyslexia." Replied Kazima, and May-li gave Bailey an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry guys, but there's really nothing I can do." Everyone groaned, but May-li just left us in the lounge, even more miserable than we were yesterday, if that was possible.

Ryan ran into the room, and we all turned to face him.

"Guys! I have an idea to save Mike!" He exclaimed, and everyone looked around at each other, not sure whether to be hopeful or skeptically.

"We need to find his schedule, it could prove that he's been overworked, and they might let him off!" Floss and the twins stood up, and gradually everyone else followed suit. I was the last one sitting down, and Ryan gave me a hopeful look. I nodded, and joined everyone in the office.

"What are you planning?" I asked him quietly, rifling through some drawers.

"You'll see." He winked at me.

"I think I've found something!" Said Kazima. "It's Carmen's file! He never took it out of here!" She cheered.

"We have to tell May-li! She can drive us there!" Said Jody, and we stampeded to the kitchen. We hurriedly explained, and May-li herded us into the mini bus, and before we knew it, we were there, but May-li had to get a parking ticket.

"Just wait here, guys. I won't be a minute." She said, and left us in the back, but Ryan climbed out of his seat, and rolled the door open.

"Come on! What're you waiting for?" He said, and we followed him into the building.

I have no idea how we got past security, or how human resources weren't tempted to sack Mike for our misdemeanours, but someway, somehow, we all ended up back in the lounge as if nothing had ever happened, and when Mike suggested that we have a party, I felt as if nothing could go wrong. Not even when I fell over trying to do the limbo, but when I saw him standing in a corner, by himself, I knew that I had forgotten something. Or rather, someone.

"Hey, do you have a minute?" I asked, and for a second, I was sure that he would say no.

"Yeah." He followed me out into the hall, I threw my arms around him.

"You did it!" I exclaimed, and he put his arms around me too, after the surprise had worn off.

"I'm really sorry about what I said earlier. I know I shouldn't have, but I was just worried, I guess."

"It's okay. I'm the one who should be apologising; all this is my fault."

"That's not what matters. What matter is that you put it right. You did the right thing." We broke apart, and I felt myself go a bit red, only now fully realising that I had basically flung myself at him.

"I'm just gonna go back inside, I think." I said awkwardly, and inwardly cursed myself for making this whole situation more awkward than it already was. He didn't reply straight away, so I turned away, and took a couple of steps forwards.

"Wait." He said, and I turned around. He looked as though he was building himself up to do something, but I had no idea what.

"Alex, I just wanted to tell you that I-"

"Hey guys! The pizza's easy if it want some!" It was Harry, and he looked at us expectantly.

"Yeah, thanks Harry. We'll be there in a sec." I replied, and once he had gone back in, I said to Ryan, "What was it you wanted to tell me?"

"It doesn't matter." With that, he walked back inside, and I followed. Whatever be he had been about to tell me would remain a mystery for now.


	7. Chapter 7

Past

"Don't go. Please don't go. Don't answer the door. I'm begging you." The knock on the front door had set mum off again, and I didn't know what to do. On the one hand, it could be important, but on the other, was it really worth distressing my mum that much?

"It's okay, I won't open it. I'm just going to get a drink, okay? Do you want anything?" I felt bad for lying to her, but if it was one of the neighbours, they would get worried if I didn't reply, and if they found mum like this... They'd threatened to call social services before, and I wouldn't be surprised if they followed through with that threat.

"Don't leave me here! Please!"

"I'll only be gone for a couple of seconds. Just stay right here. You'll be fine." She nodded reluctantly, and I could hear her muttering under her breath as I left the room, careful to shut the door as quietly as possible behind me.

I rushed down the stairs and checked my reflection in the mirror, practising a convincing smile before opening the door to reveal a woman in clothes that only just crossed the boundary between casual and smart.

"Hello. Alex, is it? My name is Morgan, and I'm here following a call made by one of your neighbours earlier this morning. I'm from social services."

I felt my stomach plummet and my heart jump to my throat, but I had to keep up a calm, collected front.

"I'm sorry, but I don't see why. My mum and I are perfectly happy here. Now, if you'll excuse me... " I began to shut the door, but when I heard it, I froze in place. The scream from upstairs was sickeningly familiar. My mum was in trouble.

Present

They were laughing but I couldn't see why. Mum and Harry looked so happy. I began to walk towards them, wanting to see what the joke was, but I couldn't. I was frozen. It was only then that I realised that they weren't just laughing at a joke - they were laughing at me. It wasn't just Mum and Harry any more. Ryan joined them, and then Jody. Tee and Carmen joined in. Then Tyler and Bailey. Even Kaz and Sasha. Everyone was there, and everyone was laughing me, and suddenly the room felt unnaturally hot, and I realised that I had been missing the joke entirely; the joke wasn't me at all. It was the fire behind me, now caressing my feet and dancing across my legs, and all I could do was scream as my entire world turned to flames.

"Wake up."

"Wake up!" My eyes fluttered open, and I saw Ryan's face above mine for the second night in a row.

"I'd ask why you're here, but I think I already know. I was stopping your beauty sleep again?" I said with a large yawn.

"Yeah, it's bloody inconsiderate of you." He said jokingly.

"Funny." I replied sarcastically. He waited for a couple of seconds before saying anything else.

"If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you." He said, his tone changing to complete sincerity.

"Thank you." I replied, and I felt a tentative arm around my shoulders.

"Thanks for being here." I said. The moment was ruined, however, by Jody saying "I'm not a dragon... " in her sleep, making us both jump.

"I should probably... " he started.

"Yeah, I'll see you in the morning." I answered.

"'Night." He said, and left me to my dreams.

That morning, my alarm went off at six thirty, and it took me a few seconds to register the bleeping noise as an alarm, and another few to figure out how to turn it off.

"Wha time's it?" Jody muttered sleepily.

"Six thirty." I yawned loudly. "We need to get up now if we want Mike to drive us to school, otherwise we won't be ready in time."

"Fine." She rolled over, and nearly fell out of bed in the process, and I sat up slowly. I dressed in my new school uniform (black trousers, white shirt, navy blazer and blue tie with red pin stripes) and packed my rucksack with my books for that day, before messily plaiting my unruly hair and following Jody downstairs for breakfast.

I ate a piece of toast with butter -Jody had three- and we climbed onto the mini bus at half sevenish, and I sat next to Ryan behind Finn and Harry and across the aisle from Tee and Carmen.

"Ugh, double maths today." I groaned, glancing down at my time table, which I had in my hand, and Ryan laughed at me.

"What are you laughing about? We're in the same class!" Ryan and I were in the same classes for maths, science and English, and I shared PE and drama with Jody, and music with both of them. I was also with Tyler for French, but I didn't see much of him, as we were both on different sides of the classroom. We were all in different tutor groups, but most classes were mixed up, so I knew at least one person in most of them.

"I honestly don't know what you're complaining about; you'll be spending it with yours truly." It was true - we did share a table in maths, and it was definitely preferable to being on a table full of strangers.

"That's one of the reasons why I dread it so much." I joked.

"We both know that's not true." He replied, and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine. I guess you make it marginally less boring." I conceded, and he grinned at me I couldn't help but grin back.

"Awww." Tee and Carmen said in unison.

"What?" Snapped Ryan defensively.

"I think you know what!" Taunted Carmen.

"Don't be stupid." Replied Ryan, turning to the window.

"Well, I definitely ship it." Said Tee.

My day passed surprisingly quickly, and I have to say, having Ryan with me in maths definitely made it more bearable. After maths I had a break, and then RE and PSHE before lunch. I ended the day with music, and then history, my favourite subject. We had jacket potatoes for dinner, and I had no free time, as I was laden down with a ridiculous amount of homework, much to my consternation.

The next morning I came downstairs to eat breakfast early, not wanting to be late for school, and was extremely confused to see that no one else was up. Had they forgotten about school? Or was I late? I glanced down at my watch. 7:35. We were due to leave five minutes ago!

"Hi Alex. Wait... What are you doing in your uniform? We have a holiday, remember? Two weeks off! Monday was our last day! God knows why they made us go in for one day." Jody said, and I groaned.

"Oh my god. So I got up at 6:30 for nothing?!"

"Yeah." She sniggered at my tired, indignant expression.

"Wait, why are you up so early then?"

"Mike put me in recycling duty. Trust me. It'll take that long." It was my turn to snigger at her.

"I'm gonna get changed."

I walked back up the stairs and dressed in my blue jeans and Fall Out Boy t shirt.

When I came back downstairs, I saw that almost everyone else was up and eating breakfast, so I sat between Mo and Kazima to eat a piece of toast with butter, and for some reason, Mike was sorting through a bin.

"Who put that in there?" He asked, holding aloft an almost-empty ketchup bottle. "It takes five hundred years for those to decompose!"

"Oh yeah, how was your 'go greener' course?" Asked Tyler, not very seriously.

"Inspirational, actually." He held aloft a poster with a picture of him on the front; saying something about being green, and I exchanged a look with Ryan, who was sat on the counter next to the sink, drinking a mug of tea.

"House meeting after breakfast. Your planet needs you." Read Kazima.

"Yep."

"And how many trees did you kill to make that?" I asked, making Mike look rather crestfallen.

"Do I look okay?" Asks Sasha, who had just walked in.

"You're only going to your mum's." Replied Bailey.

"I know, but she hasn't invited me around in a while, and she said she wanted to talk to me about something." Sasha appeared excited, and I wondered what she thought her mum wanted to talk to her about.

"So remember the deal." Said Jody. "And if she does want you home... "

"I'm sure it's going to be different this time." Said Carmen, sitting down next to her.

"Yeah, you're not just there to look after your brothers." Added Tee.

"She's really changed!" Replied Sasha with a grin, before hurrying out, followed by May-li.

I finished my toast, and washed my glass and plate, and turned around to see Mike holding aloft a bin bag, before emptying it out on the table. This was met by murmurs of disgust and surprise from everyone.

"The council's giving an award for the greenest children's home. This could really put Ashdene Ridge on the map." He announced.

"Yawn." Said Floss, wandering off.

"Remember Mike's suspension though. This could really get him noticed for good reasons." Said Harry.

"So, what does the greenest children's home have to do?" Asked Kazima, taking an interest.

"All the basic stuff. You know, like reducing waste. But, I want us to take this to another level. Up-cycling." He looked around at us expectantly, hoping for a lot more enthusiasm than was currently being displayed.

"Up-what?" Asked Carmen, baffled.

"You know. Converting rubbish into something useful!" He strode back around the counter, and held aloft an old pink flip-flop that looked like it had seen much better days. "For instance- a fly swatter!" He mimed hitting a fly from the air.

"Are you serious?" Asked Bailey.

"Yeah!" Mike nodded.

"You always tell me off for hoarding rubbish, and now you're saying it's a good thing?" Asked Mo.

"D'you know what Mo? You are so ahead of the game! You're our green pioneer!" Mike replied, still unbelievably enthusiastic.

"I always knew it."

"Excellent. So, the up-cycling challenge is on! Old junk, knew function. Impress me." Everyone immediately began talking and teaming up, and I wandered over to Ryan, who was already on a team with Harry.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked.

"Not at all." Grinned Ryan, and I high fived Harry.

"Let's win this!" He exclaimed, and ran out into the garden to look through the recycling bin, but before I could follow, I heard Sasha's voice in the hall, and followed Carmen and Tee into the hallway with Ryan, where she was talking to May-li about fostering.

"Fostering?" Asked Tee.

"Yeah. Time to move on. I shoulda done ages ago." Sasha said, and walked off. Tee and Carmen followed, and Ryan and I walked outside to where Harry had collected many large boxes from the bins.

"I have an idea!" He exclaimed, and I shared a smile with Ryan.

We had made a plan of what we were going to build, and decided to have a break. We walked into the lounge, where Tyler was stacking a whole load of boxes and cartons.

"Yes." He said triumphantly, putting the last water bottle on top of his tower. "The Leaning Tower of Pizza!" He said, apparently oblivious to its correct name, but Jody rolled a ball from the snooker table at it, and it collapsed. Tyler threw the bottle at her, but missed and instead hit Mo, who had come in.

"That's rubbish!" Exclaimed Mo.

"Well, it's supposed to be. That's the point." Said Bailey, who was also stood near the doorway.

"No, it's not. Up-cycling's supposed to be useful."

"Yeah, well I'm not making phones out of bean cans. That's for infant school."

"Bor-ing." Added Jody.

"Fine. If you're not gonna take it seriously, I'll just work by myself." Mo stormed off, and Tyler started throwing rubbish at Jody, who responded likewise, and Bailey joined in.

"Oy!" Mike yelled at them, stopping them from continuing.

"You ready to carry on?" Ryan asked Harry, who nodded, and we went up to Harry's room to continue with our creation.

"Good luck Sash!" Said Carmen; Sasha had found a couple who were thinking about adopting her already, and we (Kaz, Carmen, Tee, Jody and I) were gathered in the hallway, waiting for her to be allowed into the room next to the office, where she would be meeting them for the first time.

"You ready?" Asked May-li, and she lead Sasha into the room, leaving us in the corridor, but only for a few seconds; she came running past us and up the stairs.

"I'll see if she's okay." Offered Tee, and she ran up the stairs after her. I returned to Harry's room, where he was waiting with Ryan.

"We were thinking about the go-cart, and we can't think of what to do about the wheels." Grumbled Harry.

"Don't you have an old skate board we could use?" I suggested, and Harry nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah! That'd be great!" We went back downstairs, and they collected their boards, and we walked past a room with a concerned looking couple in it.

"Are you here for Sasha?" Harry asked.

"Duh." Muttered Ryan, referencing their height, and I elbowed him in the ribs.

"Yeah, cool board." Said the guy.

"We're using this for our go cart - it's our up-cycling project." Replied Harry.

"Oh." He said, slightly confused, and we walked through to the lounge, where we could attach it to the rest of our project.

I unscrewed the wheels, and Ryan attempted to attach them to what we had, but it wasn't going so well.

"Alright guys? How's the mean machine?" Asked the guy from earlier, who was considering fostering Sasha.

"We're stuck." Complained Harry.

"No we're not!" Protested Ryan.

"Okay, well it looks like you need a couple of axles and a steering wheel.

"Oh." Said Harry

"Well, I've got a couple of bits hanging around in the garage. I'll bring them in tomorrow."

"Awesome! Will you help us?"

"Yeah. When I get back. It's a deal." He fist bumped Harry, and Ryan looked a mixture of put-out and jealous.

The next morning, Lou (the guy adopting Sasha) stuck to his word. He brought us a collection of various parts that could help out creation, and practically had to be dragged away from Harry and the go cart by Ange (his wife) for his day out with Sasha.

When they got back in the evening, it was evident that something had gone very wrong; Sasha ran straight upstairs, and both Lou and Ange looked upset and worried, and Harry ran off to fetch them cups of tea, leaving Ryan and I to do the finishing touches. He was still gone when we all presented our creations, and when he finally ran in, he appeared close to glowing with happiness, and I couldn't help but smile at his contagious cheeriness.

"Lou and Ange are going to adopt me!" He announced, and my stomach dropped through the floor.

"What?!" I exclaimed, and May-li came in behind him.

"Nothing's certain yet, but it's definitely a possibility." She said, and any hope I had of this being some cruel joke disappeared before my very eyes. I felt frozen with shock. We had only just been reunited, and already we were being torn apart, but this time it was by choice. I knew I should say something; everyone else was. Saying how much they'd miss him. Wishing him good luck.

I felt a comforting hand slide into mine, and I looked around to see Ryan. He looked as though he was going through the same emotions as me.

Harry was due to move in with them later that day, after weeks of packing and preparing, and we were gathered by the gates to wave him off. I had promised him that this was okay, that I was fine with this, but the selfish part of wanted this to not go through, for something to go wrong at the last minute.

"Bye!"

"Promise you'll visit us!"

"Good luck!"

"See you at school!" Everyone was yelling at him through the open car window, and I could barely watch as my brother was driven away, but I knew that I would see him again; this wasn't truly goodbye.


	8. Chapter 8

Past

"What was that?" Asked Morgan, trying to step inside.

"Nothing. Nothing!" I pushed the door so it true to close, and ran up the stairs, a million scenarios playing out in my head, each worse than the last. I shoved mum's door open with my shoulder.

She was gone.

"Mum?" I called out, but to no response. I turned around to go, to check the other rooms, but I froze when I saw the writing on the wall.

"They found us." In large, red letters, and below it, "Run." I covered my mouth with my hand in shock, and didn't move. Were they real? They couldn't be. Mum's imagination had probably gotten the better of her, and the threat she had been imagining for years was just another part of of her illness. Nothing more.

Present

That morning was chaos; Carmen had decided to transform the garage into a beauty salon. She had also roped me into helping, and I was seriously regretting agreeing.

"Move it you lot! Grand opening later!" She yelled at us (Billie, Toni, Mo, Tee and I), and we staggered forwards, laden with various boxes filled with God-knows-what.

"Exams don't make manicures this good!" She wiggled her painted finger nails at us, and guided us into the garage, where there was a veritable explosion of pink, sparkles and feathers.

We entered the pink nightmare and placed down our boxes.

"Finally!" Carmen's salon chair span around, revealing an old lady laden with necklaces and scarves.

"What does a girl have to do to get service around here?" No body answered. "Are you Carmen of Salon Carmen?" She asked a confuse Carmen.

"Who are you?"

"I asked first. And your customer service skills could do with a polish." I exchanged an amused look with Tee.

"Yes, I'm Carmen." Carmen sighed.

"Doris. Enchantè." Doris held out a hand to Carmen, who shook it gingerly.

"We don't do old people. Sorry." Said Carmen.

"Oh, that suits me. I would prefer someone more skilled."

Tee and I giggled.

"Are you homeless?" Mo asked tactlessly.

"Why, no. I'm going to stay with my sister, Gladice. She's tall and thin and eats nothing but porridge. I take my own catering supplies." She gestured to a large suitcase next to her.

"You can stop here if you want." Offered Toni.

"No, she can't. Grand opening today?!" Exclaimed Carmen.

"I do fancy a cup of tea. I could work for it." Said Doris.

"I'm gonna go. Harry said he'd face time later." I said to them, having checked the time, and realising that he would probably have already called. I went back to be kitchen, and saw Finn and Ryan with a computer.

"We went to this really cool museum, and I bought a really cool sword." I heard Harry say.

"Yeah, he's lethal!" Added Lou, who was standing in the background with Ange.

"Hi Alex!" Harry said when he saw me.

"Hi Harry! Are you settling in okay?"

"Yeah, everything's great here! I wish you were with me, though."

"Just because we aren't with each other for every second of the day doesn't mean we aren't a family." We smiled at each other.

"I need the laptop! Hi, Harry." Said Floss as she walked past.

"Go away, we're busy." Said Ryan.

"Lou and Ange say I can have a kitten if I want one." I felt a painful pang at the sudden reminder of Minnie, and I felt Ryan squeeze my hand under the table. Apparently my emotions weren't as easily hidden as I'd thought.

"Actually, I think Lou wants it more." Joked Ange.

"What?! That's so unfair! Harry hasn't been watching kitten videos for months!" Exclaimed Floss to May-li, making her sigh an exasperated sigh.

"Anyway, I have to go. We're going to the new skate park!" Harry said.

"Don't forget to visit us soon!" Said Finn.

"I won't. Bye guys!"

"Bye!" We chorused.

I shut the laptop, and Finn wandered off.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked me quietly so that May-li and Floss wouldn't hear.

"Yeah, it's just hard. I've got nothing left of my old life."

"But you've got a new life. Isn't that better in some ways?"

"I guess."

We sat there in silence for a few seconds.

"I should probably carry on helping with the beauty salon. I did promise Carmen."

I left, somewhat reluctantly, and Ryan stayed at the table, looking deep in thought.

When I arrived, there was no sign of Carmen and her helpers, only Jody and Tyler and their dirty bikes.

"Where's Carmen? And what happened to that old lady - Doris, is it?" I asked.

"She ran away, and Carmen went after her. You just missed them. Why?" Answered Jody.

"I promised I'd help her, that's all."

"Can you help us get lunch ready?" Asked Tyler hopefully.

"Yeah, we've been on lunch duty for a week now. I can't believe the rota's not changed." Jody moaned, and I laughed lightly.

"Sure, why not. It's not like I've got anything better to be doing."

In the kitchen, I helped May-li with the pasta-salad, and Jody and Tyler did the drinks.

Everyone gradually filtered in. I sat down, and Ryan looked in the top cupboard for some reason.

"Hey, I think we've got mice." He opened the cupboard fully, revealing what appeared to be mouse drippings from where I was sat.

"Are you serious?" Asked Bailey.

"Urgh, that's horrible!" Tyler exclaimed, and everyone gathered around the cupboard to have a look for themselves.

"How did they get up there?" I whispered in Ryan's ear when everyone else had sat down.

"Mice can climb, you know." He responded.

"Not that well." Mike and May-li began to sort through the food in the cupboards, trying to find out which food was still safe, and what had been contaminated by the mice.

"Rank. There's poop in the cornflakes!" Exclaimed Jody, and everyone 'ugh'd loudly.

"We're gonna have to call pest control." Sighed Mike.

"What will they do?" Asked Billie.

"They'll provide us with humane traps, then we'll put the little fellas outside."

"So what's stopping them from coming back?" Asked Ryan.

"We need a deterrent. You know, something to scare them off." Suggested May-li.

"Small, fluffy, really sharp claws?" Said Ryan.

"Looks like you're gonna get your way after all." Mike conceded to Floss, and I could have sworn that Ryan gave her a shadow of a wink.

After the disaster of lunch, everyone migrated to the lounge.

"What are you doing?" I asked Ryan, who was sharing a sofa with me.

"What do you mean?" He asked in return.

"Seriously? I saw you winking at Floss, and isn't it a little bit odd that you're the one to discover the 'mice' and the one to suggest getting a new cat all on the same day Floss decides she wants one. Doesn't that sound dodgy to you?"

"Fair point."

We were silent for a few moments.

"I'm sorry, I know it was inconsiderate, with Minnie and all that, but you have to admit, it is pretty funny." His eyes met mine, and I couldn't suppress a giggle, making him smile too, and we were both laughing uncontrollably within seconds. I had soon forgotten the original reason why I had started laughing, and was just laughing beachside I couldn't stop, and he couldn't either, at least, not until we saw the cat Mike brought in with him.

"Meet Bella!" He opened the cat carrier, and an old looking tabby cat jumped out. I couldn't take it. I ran off upstairs. I knew it appeared childish an immature, but I didn't want everyone to see me break down at the painful reminder of Minnie, and how I would never see her again.

I curled up on my bed, not crying, but very close. Suddenly, the door opened, and a familiar voice asked me, "Are you okay?" And I felt his comforting, familiar arms around me.

"I'll be fine. Just give me a minute." Ryan stroked my hair, and I leaned in to his touch.

"I just feel so pathetic. First the nightmares, and now this? I just don't know what to do. I'm meant to be stronger than this."

"It's okay to be upset. What matters I that you don't let it take hold of you; you have to keep fighting." I smiled up at him, and he returned my smile.

Someone knocked at the door. Ryan looked down at me, an I nodded, so he called, "Come in." And Mike stepped inside.

"We don't have to keep the cat if it's going to be a problem. I'm sorry, I just didn't think about it."

"It's okay, honestly. It was just a but of a shock."

"Ok, well dinner's ready if you're ready to come downstairs. Shepherd's pie tonight." He began to walk out of the door, but then turned around to both of us again.

"Oh, and no boys in girls' rooms." We sprang apart, and I felt my cheeks darken a shad. "I'll make an exception this time, but in future, make sure you at least leave the door open. I'm sure you two won't... do anything... but rules are rules." He left properly this time, taking care not to shut the door behind him.

"Well, that was awkward." I said, more to break the silence then anything else.

"Just a bit." He replied sarcastically. "You want to come down for dinner?"

"Yeah, sure. Mike'll probably get suspicious if we're up here for too long." I answered, and we made our way downstairs to eat dinner.

 _I_ _was sat on a sofa with Harry and Rya_ n, acro _ss from Jody, Tyler Tee and Carmen, who were sat on the larger sofa. We were happy, laughing, talking. Until the gun sounded, and Tyler collapsed. Then Carmen. Then Tee. Then Jody. There was nothing I could do. This time, when the bullet came flying towards Harry, I jumped forwards, and the pain was dizzying. Unbearable. As I hit the floor, all I could think was that I had failed to save them. I saw Ryan and Harry hit the floor next to me._

This time, I managed to wake myself up without being shaken awake, and I was still breathing heavily. I remembered Ryan's words of a few nights ago - 'I'll be in my room if you need me. You know, if you have another nightmare'. And in that moment, I knew that he was who I needed.

I opened his door tentatively, not bothering to knock, as he would probably be asleep anyway, but I was wrong; he was reading by lamplight.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked, surprised.

"I- I had another dream... " I felt stupid saying it, and realised how childish I must sound.

He put down his book, and walked over to me, and I began to walk to him too, so we met somewhere in the middle. His arms found my waist, and mine found his neck, and we were unbelievably close.

"It's okay. You're going to be okay." His forehead was resting on mine.

"I know." It was all I could think to say, and in that moment I knew it was true; he was there with me.

I could feel his breath, soft on my face, and he was kissing me.


	9. Chapter 9

Past

"What's going on?" Morgan had come up the stairs behind me, and I cursed myself for not closing the front door properly behind me.

"I - nothing." But it was too late.

"What's that on the wall?" She asked. "That's not... That's not blood, is it?" She looked rather pale all of a sudden.

"I don't know, okay? My mum's gone, and I don't know where!" I panicked, and then realise what I had said.

"She's ill. She's probably okay, I just need to find her. It's fine." I blurted, and then realised that I had probably just made the situation ten times worse.

She looked at me for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry Alex, but my first priority has to be you. We need to go. The police can look for your mum, but right now, we need to go." I wanted to protest, to run, to hide, but I knew that that would only attract more attention, and I would end up in a secure home. That was not what I wanted, but then again, there was a way I could do it subtly...

"Fine. Just let me get some of my things first."

"I'm afraid we have to leave now."

"I already have a bag packed, just let me get it."

"Fine. But if it takes more than thirty seconds... " she warned.

"You can wait downstairs."

"I think I'll just come with you. Don't take it personally." I mentally cursed.

"Fine."

I led her to my room, and she hovered in the doorway. I grabbed my emergency bag from under the bed (containing several changes of clothes; travel sized versions of everything in my washbag; emergency food for Minnie and I and a hairbrush) and added a couple of books, my phone and a charger. Then, I grabbed Minnie from where she was stretching out on my bed, and took one last look around my bedroom, the one place that was truly mine in the world.

Present

He pulled away sharply after a few seconds, and I felt his arms retract from around my waist. He turned away. Had I done something wrong? Oh god, I did something wrong!

"I- I'm sorry- I shouldn't have- " he said.

"What do you mean?"

"Listen, I'm really sorry, I just-" he broke off.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." I reached out for his hand, and he turned around. The silence between us stretched on for what seemed like an eternity, and I knew I had to do something to break the tension, which was so thick it could have been cut with a knife. I had been planning on saying something - anything, really - but I looked up, I realised just how close we were. He met my gaze, and I saw his eyes linger on my lips before looking back up at me.

Then, I surprised myself with my boldness, and I leaned up into him, and gently placed my lips on his. He seemed just as surprised as me, and he tensed for a second before responding. My heart was racing, and butterflies danced in my stomach. This may have been our second kiss in the space of mere minutes, but this time it felt more sincere. More real. As though before had only been a dream, and now we were experiencing it for the first time all over again. His lips were slightly chapped, rough on mine, but I didn't mind. If anything, it made this whole thing seem more real. More completely and utterly Ryan. When we finally broke apart, more from a need for oxygen than because either of us wanted to, I couldn't stop a wide smile from breaking across my face, and I could see him smiling just as widely, despite the darkness.

"If you want to, you could stay in here tonight? It might stop you from having another nightmare... "

I spent the night curled up next to Ryan, his arm around me, and I didn't have any more nightmares, though that could be because I didn't sleep that much, as I was mostly just worrying that I might snore, or drool in my sleep or something embarrassing like that. I awoke early that morning, and lay there for a few seconds before realising what could happen if we were found like this by anyone. I wanted to wake him up to let him know why I was leaving, but I thought it would be inconsiderate. That, and he looked peaceful when he was sleeping. I planted a gentle kiss on his cheek, and left as quietly as I could, slowly shutting the door, and re-entering my room, where Jody was fortunately still asleep. I climbed into my bed, and lay there for a while, trying to get to sleep, but to no avail, despite how tired I was. I had been lying there for a good half an hour when I finally gave up, and decided to read. I picked up my current book, and made the most of the quiet while it lasted. After about an hour (I had just finished the book) I saw Jody begin to stir.

"Morning." I said, and Jody sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes.

"You're up early." She noted.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep properly." It wasn't exactly a lie, but I want sure whether I should feel bad about lying to her or not. Obviously, I couldn't tell her, but what happened is the kind of thing you daydream about with our friends.

"I'm gonna get some breakfast, I think. You coming?" I asked, and she nodded, her movements still slightly sluggish from her sleepy state.

I got dressed and went down stairs to see Floss, her face bright red, being held back by May-li, who was stopping her from going to Carmen, who was holding Bella the cat.

"Floss, your face!" Laughed Carmen.

"Yeah, she's allergic." May-li replied.

"How come she wasn't allergic to Minnie?" Billie, who had just come down the stairs behind me, asked.

"Well, I guess she was never really that close to her. I think touching Bella is probably what set her off." May-li answered.

"But I love her." Floss said plaintively.

"She'll find another owner." Said Mike.

"She won't. She's too old and manky. Nobody will want him!"

"Hang on... " Carmen turned towards Doris, who was standing in the door with a random man, and they exchanged a look. Doris hopeful, the man uncertain.

After some debate, Doris and Felix (the random man, who turned out to be her son) were waved off, and Bella was taken with them, back in her basket. Jody finally came downstairs, and we went through to the kitchen to eat breakfast with Tyler.

"Do you want to come on a bike ride with us after breakfast?" Tyler asked me.

"By the looks of it, that's going to take a while... " I replied, referencing his oversized omelette, and the veritable mountain of toast on Jody's.

"But yeah, I'll come."

They took a surprisingly short amount of time to finish, and they took their bikes out from the garage, where they had been confined to a small corner, thanks to Salon Carmen.

"Oh, slight problem - I don't have a bike." I had forgotten about this, and it felt like a major lapse in my memory.

"You can borrow Carmen's- I'm sure she won't mind. You don't mind pink, do you?" Jody replied.

"I'll live." They showed me the bike, which was completely hot pink.

"Okay, can I change my answer?" This got a laugh out of Tyler.

I mounted the bike nevertheless, and we cycled around for a couple of hours, going through the park and around the block a few times. When we finally got back, Carmen and Tee were occupying the garage, and I braced myself for the inevitable speech about why we couldn't out our bikes back in there, and I was slightly concerned about what Carmen would say about my use of her bike.

"Is that my bike?" She asked as soon as she saw us, and I nodded guiltily.

"You can borrow it whenever; I don't really use it anymore, oh, and this place is all yours. I'm shutting down."

"About time."Grumbled Jody.

"What are split ends, anyway?" She asked, and Carmen pulled and incensed look before walking off, Tee following her closely.

A/N Sorry for the late update...


	10. Chapter 10

Past

"Are you nearly done?" Morgan asked, obviously eager to get out of here.

"Can we just look for her, please?" I didn't want to just leave her; she was the only family I had left, and she could be in trouble.

"I'm sorry, but we have to go." Morgan gestured for me to go through the door, but I remained where I was.

"I can't."

"You don't have a choice, I'm afraid."

"Maybe not. But you do! You can help me!"

"I can't. We need to get going, but the police will find her, and they'll make sure she gets the care it sounds like she needs, okay?"

I nodded reluctantly; she wasn't going to be persuaded, and she was probably right no matter how much I hated it. The police would find her, and she would get help she needed. The help that I had been unable to give her.

Present

"Ryan, can we talk for a second?" We had barely exchanged two words in the past week. For some reason, he had been virtually ignoring me ever since that night in his bedroom, and I was sick of wondering why; I wanted answers.

"What about?" He asked back. This had been happening too - him acting as if nothing was wrong, and as if all of this was perfectly normal.

"Just come with me, please?"

He shrugged, and sighed rather exaggeratedly.

"If it means that much to you."

He followed me out of the lounge and into the corridor, and I realised how much this seemed to happen-him doing something wrong, or at least something I thought was wrong, me getting annoyed, and then us eventually solving our issues, and it made me wonder whether he was really worth it... I quickly dispelled those thoughts from my head, however; every friendship (or even something more than that- at this point I had no real idea what we were) is worth fighting for.

"What's up with you lately? You've been acting weird ever since... Well, you know."

"Actually I don't. Just because I don't want to spend every second of every day with you doesn't mean I'm being weird."

"That's not what I said." I tried to act as though I wasn't hurt a little at this.

"No, of course not, that would be tactless. You just implied it." With that, he walked off, and I just stood there, torn between calling after him and just playing it off.

"Boy trouble?" Carmen asked from the bottom of the stairs.

"Maybe." I replied after a couple of seconds, and she shook her head at me.

"Is it really that obvious?" I groaned, and she laughed, coming towards me.

"Well, let's see. You two have barely been talking, you ask him for a private word and then he kinda blows you off? Looks like you're having problems to me."

"Well, seeing as you're the expert, what do I do?"

"Do you want to come up to my room?" She asked, her eyes focusing on a point behind me, and I turned to see Floss, Billie and Toni's heads quickly withdraw from the doorway.

"Yeah, sure."

We came upstairs, and she patted a space on the bed next to her, inviting me to sit down.

"So, what have you tried?"

"I've just kinda been waiting for him to say something, and then I talking to him. Apparently that wasn't the way forward."

"Okay. First rule: don't leave it to him. Second rule: figure out what you want- do you just want to be friends, or do you want a relationship?" She looked at me expectantly.

"Oh, I just want to be friends." She raised a skeptical eyebrow at me.

"What?!"

"Come on. You wouldn't have bothered with my advice if it was just that- you could've asked anyone, or we would still be downstairs."

I was torn; I needed someone to talk to, but I didn't want to admit that every time I saw him, my stomach flipped and my heart fluttered, and I couldn't stop thinking about his lips on mine, his hands on my waist, my fingers in his hair... I wanted to shake myself. This was ridiculous; obviously whatever he had once felt for me, if anything, had crashed and burned along with our friendship, and I was an idiot for even hoping otherwise.

"Oh, come on. You aren't exactly subtle!" Carmen said, and before I could deny anything, we were interrupted.

"Lunch!" We heard Mike yell up the stairs.

"To be continued." Grinned Carmen, and she ran down the stairs. I followed.

I was one of the last to reach the kitchen, and the only seat left was in between Ryan and Kazima.

My stomach did a sort of backflip as I took my seat. I ladled tomato soup into my bowl, and took some of the bread from the basket. I accidentally made eye contact with Carmen, who smirked at me, and I looked away as fast as I could.

"Okay guys, we're going on a walk around the nature reserve after lunch!" May-li announced, and Floss frowned.

"Do we have to?" She groaned.

"What's wrong with going on a walk?" May-li asked in return.

"They're just so boring!" Finn complained, and Billie nodded.

"I'm sure you'll enjoy it when we're there."

"I used to find something to look for to help pass the time when I went on walks when I was younger." I suggested, remembering a happier time when I was with my mum and dad, and we were a family. Of course, I hadn't appreciated it as much when I had it (I hated walks as a kid, too) but now I would give anything to go back.

"What do you mean?" Asked Floss.

"I used to see if I could find ten ladybirds, or maybe a few birds' nests for instance." I shrugged. "I just used to find it fun."

"I'm going to look for dragonflies!" Toni grinned at me, and I smiled back. At least someone was happy.

"Ryan, Alex, you're on dishwashing duty, then we can go." May-li told us, and I knew that this was going to be awkward as hell.

"I'll wash, you dry." Ryan told me as he turned the hot water on, not even suggesting that I had a choice.

"Sure." I replied, and passed him the washing up liquid from the shelf behind me.

"About earlier... " I started awkwardly.

"I don't want to talk, okay? I thought I made that pretty clear before!" His neutral expression dropped into a scowl almost immediately.

"I just wanted to say sorry, okay? I obviously upset you somehow, but I guess I can live with my knowing why."

"Right." He replied shortly, his scowl reverting back to his empty expression, which was somehow worse; at least before he had been feeling something, even if it was anger. We finished the dishes in silence, and Ryan strode off as soon as he was done, leaving me to dry the final plate.

"Alex and Ryan sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Sang Floss, coming around the door with Billie and Toni, and I almost laughed at how ridiculous it sounded. Instead, however, I just walked out into the hall where everyone was putting on their shoes and coats, and May-li was looking stressed. I went upstairs to find a warmer hoodie, and came back down to see May-li hovering outside her office, a grim look on her face.

"Alex? The police are here to see you - they want to talk to you about your mum."


	11. Chapter 11

Past

We walked through the house that had been the closest thing to a home that I had had for years. I locked the front door behind myself for the last time, and Morgan led me to an official-looking black car with an immaculate leather interior. I almost felt guilty about letting Minnie on it (as much as I love cats, I accept that cat hair is a nightmare), but not quite.

"You'll be staying at Ashdene Ridge children's home." She informed me, which didn't really tell me much, as I had never heard of it before, so I just nodded. Apparently, she had taken my silence as nerves, as she said, "I'm sure you'll fit right in. Ashdene Ridge has passed all its inspections with flying colours, and they'll welcome you , I'm sure."

"Yes, I'm sure they'll be a great replacement for my mum." I snapped back. I knew it was unfair to blame her; she was just doing her job, but it still stung.

"That's not what I meant." She replied gently, and we remained silent for the rest of the journey.

After about fifteen awkward minutes, she finally pulled up outside a large house that I presumed was Ashdene Ridge. I did my best not to be impressed, but I was definitely a much nicer looking place than I had envisioned. I got out and took my bag out of the boot, said goodbye to Morgan (out of politeness only), but she stayed parked at the front, obviously not wanting a runaway kid to mess up her CV.

I stepped through the front door, pulling my black suitcase behind me with one hand, carrying Minnie as carefully as I could with the other, and was met with the stares and whisperings of the other residents of Ashdene Ridge.

Present

I entered May-li's office, dread rising from the pit of my stomach. The police only showed up if there was something seriously wrong, and I couldn't help but picture what had happened to my mum, each scenario worse than the last in my head. I saw an officer standing there, a serious expression on his lined face.

"I'm sorry miss, but I'm afraid I don't have any good news for you." I had already figured out that much; he wouldn't have come in person if it wasn't serious, and I just wanted him to tell me and be straight forward, and stop hesitating.

"I'm sorry, but we found your mother yesterday." He wasn't quite meeting my eyes, which somehow made it worse. He was meant to be stronger than this.

"Where is she now? Can I see her? Does she know where I am?" I had no control over the words flowing from my mouth.

"I'm so sorry miss, but when we found her it was too late. She was shot." My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. My throat closed up. My knees gave way, and I felt May-li's arm guide me to a chair. I heard Mike say something to the policeman as they left, but I felt as though I was hearing it from under water.

"This can't be happening... " even my own voice had a far-off quality to it.

"I'm so sorry Alex. Is there anything I can do?" May-li asked me, and I shook my head in reply, not trusting myself to speak, feeling as though I might be sick.

"What about a glass of water?" I nodded slightly.

"I'll just be a second, okay?" She left the room, leaving me alone, and a few seconds later, I heard a knock, and the door opened again.

"Can I go to - oh, it's you." It was Ryan.

I didn't reply for a few seconds.

"What happened?" He sounded genuinely concerned, obviously realising that something was seriously wrong.

"I- my mum- she- " I couldn't form a coherent sentence, but Ryan seemed to understand enough, and, apparently forgetting our previous argument, came towards me.

I rose slightly out of my chair, and he enveloped me in a hug, and brushed away a tear that I hadn't even realised was there with his thumb. We fitted together as if we were made to be, and I only wished that his reason for comforting me left my future looking less bleak. He was supporting my weight, and I wanted to stay like this forever, never again facing reality, just being with him for a blissful eternity.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's not like it's your fault." Somehow, I managed to talk, despite my throat feeling as though it was closing up, and the sobs I was attempting to hold back.

"I wasn't just talking about your mum. I'm sorry for what I said. I was just scared that you would grow to hate me like everyone else."

"I could never hate you."

I looked up, and saw him smiling down at me. The only thing that stopped me from smiling back was the death that felt like a thousand lead weights on my shoulders, dragging me down. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't I just be happy? Or, at the very least, normal? Normal people don't have crazy parents. Normal people don't have death following them like a shadow. Minnie. My mum. I didn't know how much more I could take.

The door handle moved, and Ryan let me sit back down, and he crouched beside my chair. When May-li entered, he was holding my hand, but she couldn't see it.

"I brought you some chocolate, too. You don't have to eat it, I just thought it might help." She seemed unsurprised to see Ryan in here with me as she handed me the glass and put the chocolate down on the desk next to me.

"Do you want to watch a movie? Or go shopping maybe? You can choose. It might take your mind off things." She kept speaking to me tentatively, as though I was a bomb about to go off at any second. My world had been shattered, but I wasn't about to let myself break, despite the mess that had once been a good life.

"Yeah, maybe. Can I just have a few minutes?" I replied shakily, not wanting to break down in front of her.

"Of course. Anything you need, just ask." She glanced over at Ryan to see if he was leaving with her, but he stayed next to me.

As soon as she left, I couldn't help it. I felt tears welling in my eyes, and a great sob racked my body. I felt weak and helpless, but at the same time, a sense of relief. I didn't have to hide my weakness or my pain.

Ryan pulled me close again, and I leaned into his warmth.

Eventually, the sobs left my body, and I managed to drink the water May-li had brought me.

"Are you feeling any better?" Ryan asked me softly, and I nodded.

"Do you want to see if we can go out for a bit? We could get something to eat?" I nodded again, and gave him a half smile- the best I could manage at the moment. He pulled away from me completely, an offered me a hand, helping me stand, and lead me to the door.

"Can you just promise me one thing first?" I asked him.

"What?"

"Let's try not to fight any more."

"Done." He grinned at me, and lead me to the kitchen where May-li was talking to Mike about something.

"Is it okay if we go into town for a bit?" Asked Ryan, as May-li immediately replied.

"Of course. If that'll make you feel better. Is it just going to be you two?" She asked, glancing at our linked hands, and I felt too drained to care. I just nodded.

"Okay, just be back by five, yeah?"

"Thank you." I replied, and she smiled at me again before we left.

"Oh my god, no way!" I exclaimed, and we burst out laughing, and I found it almost impossible to stop.

"Yeah, it's surprising what people do when they're under pressure- especially if they're wearing a tutu!" Ryan's ridiculous stories (and possibly an overdose of hot chocolate and cake from the cafe we were sat in) had made everything seem distant enough for me to laugh my troubles away.

"Excuse me, are you done with your plates?" A waitress, who I hadn't even noticed was standing there, asked politely.

"Oh, yes, thank you." I replied, fighting a giggle. She took away our plates, and replaced it with a bill.

"I'll pay." Ryan immediately offered, but I waved his hand away.

"No, I should. You cheered me up, and I should repay you."

I could see him realise that this argument would be never ending unless he agreed with me, so he said, "How about we go halves? It's only fair."

"Okay, fine." I conceded.

We payed and then wandered around the shops for a while, somehow ending up in a large two storey supermarket.

"Do you mind I look at the books?" I asked, having finished my latest one.

"Only if you don't mind me checking out the video games." I pulled a face.

"Can we split up? We'll be done much quicker, and then I won't have to watch you with your video games."

"I bet you haven't even played call of duty before!"

"I be you haven't either- it's not like May-li would let you!"

He looked slightly sheepish.

"Just come and find me when you're done, okay?" He said, and we parted ways.

Without him there to keep me laughing and distracted, my mind was dragged back to thinking about my mum. How could I have let this happen? I was meant to look after her. It was all my fault- I should never have let Morgan in.

I felt tears on my face again, and saw a woman give me a funny look.

"You alright love?" She asked, and I nodded, walking away, completely forgetting about the book aisle. Instead, I dried my eyes as best as I could, and did my best to think of anything but my mum as I made my way to the video game aisle. Apparently, Ryan was in a worse position than me; two boys (both taller than him) and a girl wearing all purple, with her hair in a top knot were standing around him. To an outsider, they might have just been talking, but I recognised them from school. They weren't bullies exactly- they just believed themselves to be above everyone else. From the other end of the aisle, I saw Ryan's false confidence and faulty smile, and I couldn't help but hate them.

As I approached, I could hear them laughing at him (the girl sounded rather like a hyena), and Ryan shook his head at me as I drew nearer, not wanting me to get involved, but I couldn't leave.

"What's this- come to save your boyfriend?" Giggled the girl, whose name I remembered to be Laurel.

"Grow up." I injected as much disdain into my voice as humanely possible, and I saw the corners of Ryan's mouth twitch up slightly.

"Oh, it bites!" She sounded delighted, and the boys on either side of her jeered and laughed with her.

"Let's just go." I said to Ryan, and he tried to step away from them, but they surrounded the both of us.

"What do you want?" I snapped. "You do realise we're in the middle of a shop, right? You wouldn't want to make a scene, would you?" Ryan added, and the boys exchanged a look.

"Oh, I'm not making a scene - I'm making a point." Laurel replied.

"If that point is that the tree of you are twats, it's coming across perfectly." I answered, and her smile became more threatening, her eyes taking on a dangerous glint.

"My point is that you need to learn your place. Respect your... Betters."

I rolled my eyes, and Ryan scoffed loudly, "Do you realise how ridiculous you sound right now?"

"I think she was perfectly clear." Said the boy on the left, whose name escaped me somehow.

"Stay out of our way and we'll stay out of yours, understand?" Added the other threateningly, but I only rolled my eyes again, and we pushed them aside slightly, walking off.

"What was that about?" I asked once we were out of the shop and far enough away not to be over heard.

"I don't know!"

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Okay, fine. I might have said something about Laurel... "

"What?" I pressed him.

"I said maybe she should eat some of her makeup... Then maybe she'd be a bit prettier on the inside. She was asking for it! Apparently, she couldn't understand why Daniel dumped her."

"Ryan!" I exclaimed, and started to laugh, making him grin at me.

"Yeah, maybe she did deserve it." I admitted.

"You know she did."

We were silent for a few seconds, and we entered the park that was a short cut back to Ashdene Ridge.

"Thanks for all of this."

He grinned at me.

"That's okay. I just feel bad for not reaching out to you sooner."

I took his hand, and he turned towards me. I leaned in closer, and closed my eyes.

As his lips met mine, I finally felt complete.


	12. Epilogue

A/N - Before you read the last chapter, I just want to thank anyone reading this for bothering with my story! Also, shout out to anyone who has commented on or favourited this; you're the ones that kept me updating! Hope you enjoy the epilogue ?

Thirteen years later

Everyone was smiling. Everyone including me; the smile on my face rivalled the Cheshire Cat's in size, and I saw that his was the same. My dress, snow white and beautiful, was by far the most elegant piece of clothing I had ever worn, and it made me feel confident, as if nothing could bring me down. The bouquet in my hand was a pale blue, matching the dresses of Carmen, Tee, and of course Jody, though I really had no idea how I had persuaded her to wear it. They broke away from the aisle when we reached the front row of seats, and Jody went to sit with Tyler and took his hand, Carmen and Tee going to sit with two guys who I didn't quite recognise.

That was first warning sign, but for some reason I ignored it.

I finally reached the alter, and Ryan took my hands in his, his smile growing. The second warning sign was when I saw someone on the from row who definitely shouldn't be there. My mum.

The officiator began to speak, but all I could think about was Ryan, and how I knew what was coming, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I sure as hell had tried.

"As soon as I saw you, I knew that you were the one. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true." Ryan had started speaking, but at this point, his face darkened. "I just wish it could've ended differently." A shot rang out through the perfect meadow that belonged on the front of a chocolate box that was meant to be where our happy ending started, and Ryan fell. Blood spread through his shirt like a crimson flower, and his eyes filled with pain. I crouched down next to him, and cradled his body to me as his final breath left his body. I had witnessed this a thousand times, but it never got any easier.

I awoke, drenched in sweat. This wasn't supposed to happen to me any more, but I still remembered the first time I had dreamt his death as though it was yesterday. The pills were meant to stop this from happening, but apparently even my heavy prescription couldn't keep these dreams at bay. When they had first started, they had been new - weird and different, wrong, but now they felt like memories. I could guess why- they were like memories, in a way; he was dead, and they were my last reminders that, once upon a time, I thought that it was possible for me to have a happy ending.

I used to think that every silver lining had a cloud, but now I know that I was wrong. For that to happen, there would have to be a silver lining to start off with, and that isn't always how life works.

THE END


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